Background info: Porter College @ UCSC is notorious for weed and some dickhead tried to get me to smoke weed all week. He is going to be reading this Thursday afternoon. Oh, it will be fun. :]
My Experience with Mary Jane
Mary Jane, the lovely nickname for Porter’s favorite plant, marijuana, has played quite the significant role in my life thus far – yet I’ve never smoked! Because I choose not to smoke, many things in my life are different that what they would be if I did. My relationships with friends and family have all been affected, but not smoking has helped keep me motivated in life. It’s one thing I can hold on to, and oddly enough it defines a lot of my personality. It’s amazing what one little plant can do!
It all started back in middle school. I was living life, having fun, doing well in school, and was generally just a happy person. I had a wonderful group of friends who came over to my house every Wednesday for some “good clean fun.” We just threw plastic chairs off my roof and made videos with my terrible web cam - your usual group of crazy punk kids. I had a boyfriend who was fabulous. He was cute and treated me right. People at Mitchell Middle School started smoking weed around the 7th or 8th grade, but that wasn’t really such a big deal, at least it wasn’t in Rancho Cordova. Well, it wasn’t until that awesome boyfriend of mine fell for a girl who loved to smoke. We broke up rather quickly after I found out that he liked her more than me! That was my first experience with pot – not really anything life changing or horrible, but not the best first impression of Miss Mary Jane. Through the rest of my years in middle school I watched many bright kids succumb to weed, and honestly, when I think of all the wonderful things those people could have done with their lives, it is probably one of the things that saddens me the most about this world.
Eventually, you graduate from middle school and move on to “High School” or what most people consider the closest thing to the gates of hell. I know I did a few times! Since everybody in Rancho Cordova goes to the same high school, Cordova, I kept most of my friends, and we continued to enjoy ourselves and just be happy kids. We didn’t smoke, we didn’t drink, and we just did our thing. It was wonderful, but it sadly only lasted about a year. Since I was so happy during that freshman year, I never really noticed all the people dropping out, getting pregnant, or just falling miserably behind in class. The teachers at Cordova usually tried to hide that from us happy students, anyway. Though I’m sure I was one the few they successfully “hid” it from, because I lived in a world of bliss. Not only was I nearly physically blind, but I was blind to the negative things in the world. As I went on through high school, my friends started to experiment. I was fine with it, because weed really wasn’t a big deal, and I wasn’t going to lose my friends due to some plant. None of them smoked more than once a month, so I just got over it. We were in high school, and that’s what people do, it was how life worked, and all that jazz.
I would have to say the first friend of mine to really go off the deep end was Anthony Hawkins, who I just called Hawkins. This guy was my boyfriend from back in middle school who liked that other girl, but we had stayed good friends ever since. He had also smoked ever since. I must say, Anthony is one of the smartest people I have ever known. I used to have deep conversations with him back in algebra. They were intense. I knew that he could go far in life, and thinking about it now, I really wish he would have done more to get farther. He meant a lot to me, just as a friend, but I couldn’t do anything with him because his favorite past time was to hang with ‘ole Mary Jane, and I just didn’t do that stuff. So, our relationship deteriorated to not much more than a wave and a casual conversation in English. Disheartening, but I was able to move on.
The next friend of mine who really got into pot was my Asian, Ricky. Ricky and I were extremely close freshman year. I literally loved the kid. We had PE together, and he kept me motivated, I kept him entertained. It was a wonderful little relationship, though it was never “official.” Seeing Ricky get into pot, and totally forget about me, and the rest of my group of friends was heart breaking. But once again, it happens, and I was still living in bliss, so it didn’t affect me at the time. Thinking about it now, I really wish I could have done something more to make him make a better choice, but there’s no use in regretting what happened in the past, and I’ve moved on.
The friend who hurt me the most by smoking was Mr. Anthony Sanchez. I met Anth, as I like to call him, in a 7th grade history class. He instantly became one of my closest friends. We were together all the time and he meant just about everything to me. Through most of high school he didn’t smoke, and our friendship continued to grow. That friendship lasted all the way to Senior Year, when Anth decided to try weed. Once again, no big deal – I don’t care if people smoke. It’s their choice, their life, their body. I won’t condone someone for doing something. The thing that hurt me the most about Anthony was the fact that all through high school he’d preach about how terrible weed was, and how it was so important for all of us to stay away from it. He watched Ricky change with me, he saw what happened to the other people who smoked, and then he did the same exact thing. Since I cared about Anthony so much, I tried to talk to him about it, but I was only ignored. I felt helpless, because I love my friends to death, and I’d do anything to make sure they were okay and that their lives were in order. There’s a part of me that just wants to take care of everyone and everything. After being ignored, our friendship just died. He found new friends, and not only completely ditched me, but his other good friends. I just don’t understand why anyone would want to do that to the people they care about. I never received an apology or anything. I’m still a little bitter about that whole situation.
My little brother was the next to go. My Mom was diagnosed with Hepatitis C when I was in the 6th grade, but see, we had her boyfriend at the time to take care of us. My Mom’s boyfriend left right before the 8th grade, for reasons that are far too personal to explain casually. I have been taking care of my brother ever since then. My Mom was cured of Hepatitis C, but she advanced farther in her career and she simply did not have the time to take care of my brother because she was too busy working to keep us fed. Considering I was a mere freshman in high school, and I had things to do and a life to live, having to worry about my brother took quite a toll on me, and as I grew up more, I worried more and more about him. He was okay until sometime during my Senior Year when he started to smoke. He comes home sick now, and he is one more mistake away from walking into juvenile hall. I feel like I’ve failed him, because I know he could do so much more with his life. He is such an intelligent person and he could do anything in this world. Friends are one thing, but when pot gets to your family, especially the person you care about in your family the most, you start to resent things.
Coming to UCSC, and especially Porter College, I knew I’d have to deal with Mary again, but that didn’t stop me from going to a school I absolutely love. It’s not like I have to smoke. When I first arrived here, I was very much alone. Not one of the 15,000 people on the campus was from Cordova. It was a blessing, but I am also a very shy person and I’m probably not the best at putting myself out there and making new friends. The first few days I spent with my roommates, and they are wonderful, but I wanted to find some people that I could connect with on a level that made me feel more at home, basically, I wanted to find some boys! I usually eat breakfast by myself here so I can meet new people, and I did. I met a couple of guys who seemed nice, and one of them had a smile to die for. I ended up spending the whole day with them, and good God did I enjoy myself. Both understood the language of music, and I felt at home with them. They were nice, even if one was a punk, and the other was coming on a little too strong. I figured I had made some new friends, and I was so happy that I wasn’t alone anymore. The next day, class started and I figured I’d just see them after, or something of that sort. I spent the whole day trying to find them, and when I did, it was time for Porter Core. I figured that sometimes it’s just a pain to meet up with people, and it was no big deal. Then the same thing happened the next day. See, my new friends… they were into Mary. They really liked her, and they liked her a whole lot more than me. Whenever they went to smoke I went to sit in my room by myself. That wasn’t exactly my idea of a good time. It wouldn’t have been that big of a deal if I hadn’t of been forgotten about. Let’s just say I didn’t try to find them anymore. I know when I am not wanted around. I might have been extremely pissed off though, to say the least.
Life is quite an amusing thing. It knocks you down, and then picks you right back up. After sitting around by myself feeling quite angry for a bit, I remembered someone who I had met earlier in the week. His name is Marc, he was my Slug, and boy is he a cutie. I wrote him a little note and had one of his roommates deliver it to him. He contacted me the other day and now I’ve been spending time with him. The thing about this guy is though, besides how sweet he is, is the fact that he doesn’t smoke. He’s the third person I’ve met in Porter who has never smoked. Even though my first experience with making new friends in college didn’t go so well, I’ve now met this person I feel like I can trust and stick with. Maybe it’s because I’m silly and naïve, or maybe it’s because I really did find someone sweet to be around. I’m really hoping it’s the second one!
There are so many more common practical reasons to why I don’t smoke, but the one that really keeps me going is the experiences I’ve had with weed in my life, and how every single one of them has lead to an unhappy time or mass amounts of stress. Back at home I have a lot of people who look up to me and see me as a role model. I always want to be that person for them and weed just doesn’t fit that criteria. Even though this first week here at college has been a little rough, standing my ground has only made me feel stronger about my beliefs and who I am.
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