Grrrr

Why...
why would you kiss me?
why would you play with my tongue?
why would you take my face in your hands?
why would you lay with me...
hold my hand...
and smile at me... with those eyes...
why would you tell me you were happy
why would you tell me I was so God damned cute
why would you hold me close...
why would you...

if it was something you couldn't do..?

Why would I, be so silly and naive...
to let myself go, again...
to relax, and to trust
why didn't I just listen to Ryan?
why did I think I could actually be happy?

Now why do I hurt, why do I feel?
all of a sudden, I'm no longer numb
...and I don't like it.

I'm so used to forgetting about happiness
I always thought I was done chasing it...
I always thought I could be fine
but you reminded me
and I can't get this off my mind...

I want to smile, for real.

I had a taste of happiness again...
and I want more...
the forbidden fruit calls to me
as I try to drown my thoughts in an never ending sea

Someday, happiness will come again,
and until then I will wait, my friend.

WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKK GRRRRRRRRR

WHY AM I SO UPSET :(