...since I've made a legitimate blog post.
Let's see..
update on life:
Spring break was really awesome. Spent a lot of time with Jacob, and threw a pretty good party. Danced on a table with the best friend. Yep. ♥
I think I really like this guy named Logan, but some other interesting things have happened lately and I'm not 100% sure about that right now.
Other interesting things meaning... my friend Cameron...
I think I'll let you know that story later, dear blog, 'cause I dunno how I feel about it right now.
In other words -- Kick Ass is an awesome movie. The little girl is wtf bat shit crazy and it's kind of totally freakin' awesome.
Now! Back to boys and blahblahblah
I dunno how comfortable I am with putting stuff so personal on the internet anymore.
Mostly because now I really have no idea who reads it, and in which way they take it. I know my now ex-BFF Mark used to read this blog often, and honestly I don't know if he does anymore. He hasn't talked to me in like, 3 months. ~.~ Julia has also read this before, and while I hope to God we're still fairly good friends, sometimes I worry because I'm scared, sad, and still more or less mortified by Mark's abandonment of me. I just don't want to post anything to make either of them think less of me... though I don't know if that would affect how Mark feels about me, anyway.
When this was a blog about FFXI, and FFXI only, well shit, I honestly didn't give a fuck what people thought -- they lived usually over 1,000 miles away and if I never wanted to speak to them again I didn't have to. I didn't have to deal wih their bullshit, their criticism, or their judgmental eyes... passing them in the hall, pretending they are non-existent... urrrghh!
The other thing about a blog about FFXI was it was just a game. I feel like I'm more or less not only posting my story online, but my friends' too. I guess it was the same for FFXI, but who the fuck would care if you were a little bit of a dick in a video game in the real world, really?
At least I think so... kind of.
I dunno. I just don't feel like it's okay for me to post things about other people. Not anymore. I care far too much for Logan, and Cameron, and Kendal, and Tanner, and Julia, and even Allyson and Mark to make our lives here a text based reality TV show. But I also miss writing. I miss ranting. I miss not giving a fuck about so and so's reaction. Because I am me when I write, and God damnit, I am not a bitch when I write. I have a backbone and I am strong, and the itty bitty bit of rage that does live within me can be unleashed.
Argh. I'm just so aggravated. So confused. So grouchy 'cause I got yelled at 'cause I kinda fail at DotA. (lol)
Oh -- in other other words: got my first hickey. I think? And by first I mean set of four.
Think on that, muthafucka.
I'd like to think my personal reaction to finding them this morning was kind of priceless.
OH! and James, sweet gay guy who used to live with Robert, said that I should write for FRL! again.
That kind of made my night. He's such a sweetheart.
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