Monday, August 30, 2010

Ahahahahahha Highway 17!

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/1590948273.html

Greetings from your friendly HWY 17 bus driver


Date: 2010-02-07, 10:57PM PST


First of all, I'd like to compliment you all on the quality and quantity of your middle fingers.

I realize I am widely despised and considered by many of you to be a selfish, clueless, dangerous bastard of a road hazard. I understand where you are coming from. Even if you are a greedy, spoiled, impatient piece of shit. I understand.

Let me address a couple of specific issues.

1. The fast lane, or as it is known in "the business," the Number One Lane.
Why in bloody hell, some of you wonder, would a goddamn bus be using the fast lane southbound between 280 and Los Gatos, when it can't travel much over 70 mph (MAX) on a downhill grade, and moves like a snail on the uphill? Well, it's like this: I am trying to avoid the clusterfuck merges that occur throughout that stretch. The road is full of really bad drivers, as you know... and while a passenger car might stand a chance of swerving or accelerating or braking out of trouble, not me. I need to stay out of the way of that shit. If a merging idiot cuts me off and I have to decelerate on an even a slight uphill grade, there will be peace in the Middle East before I can get back up to the speed limit. I know you are pissed off that I am keeping you from speeding your ass off for a few minutes, but if I get stuck in the Idiot Merge and have to slow down, then you will see some really serious traffic blockage while I hold the throttle pedal to the floor and wait for the bus to resume any forward motion. I know you don't give a shit about that because you can drive better than James Bond and would easily bust through the jam with amazing technique, but next time you might be a minute or two behind me... then you will taste some serious inconvenience and delay because some asshole such as yourself didn't let me just keep up enough momentum to get out of the way as soon as possible.

2. Speaking of merging:
Look here, the bus has basically two modes; floored and stopped. When floored, the actual speed depends entirely on grade and momentum. When I am coming down a ramp to merge onto the highway, I am FUCKING FLOORING IT, ok? I am trying to get as close to the flow of traffic as possible. Maybe you are in the right land and see me up ahead, preparing to merge and signaling left. You could do a couple of things. You could slow down and let me in, which I would appreciate but certainly not expect of you. Or, probably even better, you could put your fucking foot in it and blast cleanly around me and make good your escape. But either way, you gotta shit or get off the pot. Please do not hover back there in my blind spot, spitting and cussing and wondering when I'm going to make my move. Guess what? You are already seeing my move. I am signaling left and standing on the throttle with my full weight. You're the one in the vehicle that actually has a choice to go faster. I realize that sometimes I am getting in your way. Really, I'm sorry about that, but if you make me slow down because I can't tell where you are ... well, then we're going to see how badly I can make traffic back up. The rule of thumb is this: Do what traffic expects you to do. That means do not come to a screeching halt on the freeway because you think I'll cut in front of you, or because you are such a sweetheart that you are willing to fuck 5 miles of commuters behind you so that I can creep into traffic. Just drive. Do what traffic expects. If you can just carry on at your same speed and zip right past me than please do so. On the the other hand, if you see me a half mile up ahead, signaling left and waiting waiting waiting to get over, and no one will budge, and I am getting dangerously close to the point of no return... please do not floor it when I finally get a little gap and you are several hundred yards back. We want the same thing, you and me. You want to get the fuck away from me and I also want you to do that.

Oh, and northbound, after the curvy part of 17, just after the Cats restaurant, where the first Los Gatos onramp comes in... I always grab the left lane anywhere I can get it after Lexington Reservoir and the Cats. The traffic merging onto the freeway at Los Gatos is deadly. Deadly and slow. Plus, there is another merge nightmare shortly thereafter as people try and remember whether they want 85 or not... or start reading their map to see what 85 even is. I don't want 85. I want to stay away from everyone who is wrapped up in the spiritual dilemma over whether to take it or not. That means one thing and one thing only: Left Lane. Please keep in mind... I am not trying to block your way. I just need to maintain my speed long enough to get around all that shit. As usual, if I get caught in it, I'll become a much bigger pain in the ass while I try and get back up to speed over the next 20 minutes.

3. Lane changes/passing other vehicles
Same deal. Believe it or not, there are vehicles on the road even slower than the Hwy17 bus. Usually they are big rigs, construction trailers, out-of-town first-times (on this road) doing the White Knuckler... and sometimes they are just terrified little idiots who refuse to believe that the posted speed limit is to be trusted. If I get caught behind this stuff on the uphill... forget it. I'll be slowing up the traffic for a long time If you see me on the downhill, signaling left, please let me get around them. I can do it going downhill, and I PROMISE to get the fuck back in the slow lane immediately.

I hope this clears up some confusion. It is a treacherous road, and can be unbearably frustrating when you are in a hurry. Please keep in mind that my bus is not the only thing out there jamming up traffic. In fact, I'll jam it up less if given just a little room. At least I am aware of the situation and aware of the need to try and stay out of the way when I can't go fast, and to keep things flowing when I can.

Oh, and to the woman in the dirty Subaru Outback with the Montessori bumper sticker... you really need to quit biting your nail on that middle finger. Your Bird-Flippng technique is flawless, but that fingernail is disgusting. Next time I see it (probably tomorrow) I want to see it neatly trimmed.

This is Awesome.

http://www.geekalerts.com/flying-helicopter-alarm-clock/

Read that URL.

Awesome = yes.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

This is Also Interesting

Kind of a neat way to think about life. Eh.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=18768430

Six-Word Memoirs: Life Stories Distilled

Some examples:

After Harvard, had baby with crackhead.
- Robin Templeton

70 years, few tears, hairy ears.
- Bill Querengesser

Watching quietly from every door frame.
- Nicole Resseguie

Catholic school backfired. Sin is in!
- Nikki Beland

Savior complex makes for many disappointments.
- Alanna Schubach

Nobody cared, then they did. Why?
- Chuck Klosterman

Some cross-eyed kid, forgotten then found.
- Diana Welch

She said she was negative. Damn.
- Ryan McRae

Born in the desert, still thirsty.
- Georgene Nunn

A sake mom, not soccer mom.
- Shawna Hausman

I asked. They answered. I wrote.
- Sebastian Junger

No future, no past. Not lost.
- Matt Brensilver

Extremely responsible, secretly longed for spontaneity.
- Sabra Jennings

Joined Army. Came out. Got booted.
- Johan Baumeister

Almost a victim of my family
- Chuck Sangster

The psychic said I'd be richer.
- Elizabeth Bernstein

Grumpy old soundman needs love, too.
- Lennie Rosengard

Mom died, Dad screwed us over.
- Lesley Kysely

Painful nerd kid, happy nerd adult.
- Linda Williamson

Write about sex, learn about love.
- Martha Garvey

The New Classics: Books

Meh. Haven't read a lot of 'em but I see some good titles on there. Guessin' it might be a pretty legit list. Dunno if Harry Potter is on there because a million people have read it, though.

http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20207076_20207387_20207349,00.html

/shrug

EMMYS 2010!

So it seems that only Ryan Murphy and Jane Lynch won their Emmys.

Depressing, but Glee won my heart fifteen times over this season, so irrelevant!

Who's hot for Mr. Schuester?!

THIS BITCH //

Lea Michelle won BEST DRESSED FEMALE. AWESOME.

...and the rest of the Glee ladies looked fabulous. Not one was laughed at by crazy ass Joan Rivers.

& Chris Colfer stole my heart, again.
He always does. Ahhhh. ♥

I Miss Doctor Who :(

(Woo, Doctor!)

Can't believe I've got to wait until, like, DECEMBER to watch more quirky goodness. I really like Matt Smith, and Amy Pond is a wonderful companion. She's been fun to watch! Hrm. Yeah. I feel like this post was made so I could put a picture of Matt Smith on my blog. Whatever. XD

Saturday, August 28, 2010

There Will Be...

more additions to the beautiful man wall soon.

The Glee cast has some beautiful men. (Matthew Mmmmmmmmmmorrison! XD)

So, um, yeah.

Too lazy to do it now though. Hah :D

My Dreams

...are hella weird.

But I usually forget them too quickly to type 'em out.

Last night I dreamed that myself, Cindy, Katie Butler, and Ruby were on a weird form of Big Brother, and that the world was more than likely in the midst of a nuclear war.

I remember sitting down in this, like, old abandoned bus station type thing, trying to plan out an alliance between us four because we all knew each other but nobody else knew!

WTF?

Friday, August 27, 2010

'Cause She's Cute!

Most little girls my age loved Sailor Moon. I know I sure as hell did. Venus was my favorite. Woohoo!



LOOK HOW CUTE SHE IS! ♥

Thursday, August 26, 2010

RIP Grandpa

:(

I'll post more on this later, but today has been a rough day.

Funerals are weird.

VICTORY!

New header is hella cute. Like the new blog name too. I've always liked the silly things my brother calls me, and the "creature" part comes from Cooper. He always said that I was fairly different, so different in fact, that I am a creature. I googled that one day and found the adorable little thing in my header.

This has been a good blog layout update thing.

Success! ♥

...and the URL ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE NOW!! YAAAAAY!!

Changed the Blog's Name Again

...cause I don't write about love. lol

Nor do I ADD much of it.

Hrm. Whatever. Might go back.

I dunno.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

lolFinn

He's so dopey. I love him.



:] I GRAFFITI'D YO' FACE, FINN!

They had a Sim of him and Rachel on Mod the Sims. Rachel looked good, but Finn's face wasn't dopey enough, and that's quite possibly my favorite thing about him... so no download. I'm sure there's more to come though! I need a Sue Sylvester Sim. I feel like my life would be very close to complete. Oh yeah, this post is the first to create the "Glee" label! Yahoo!

Beautiful People on the Bachelorette

So this season of the Bachelorette was one to remember. (Which coming from me, is saying a lot.) There were some fantastic people on it! I don't normally watch this show, or the Bachelor, because I find the Bachelor/Bachelorette to be boring, the show hella corny, and so on so forth. And I like bad television.

This is Ms. Bachelorette: Ali Fedotowsky - she ended up with a smokin' hot man.


First of all: she's hella cute! But also, she was fun to watch, had a pretty fantabulous personality (she handled her "situations" well) and I actually felt like she was a person. Good Bachelorette makes for good show. It only makes sense.

There were some of her guys:
(I like American boys, too!)

#1 - Jonathan Novack ~ "Weatherman"


LOOK AT THIS MAN. LOOK AT HIM. ISN'T HE THE MOST ADORABLE THING EVER?! I'm using the cast pictures from the show to make the blog look pretty and polished, so here's another look: Click HERE for hella cute weatherman. Just gonna say this again: LOOK AT THAT FACE!! LOOK AT THAT FACE!! SOADORABLE. Anyway, in the Bachelorette, he got picked on by this next guy I'm going to showcase, and lord, I didn't know male drama could rival that of its counterpart. It was beautiful. He was on Bachelor Pad for a few episodes, but them crazy evil ladies on that show SENT HIM HOME. EVEN AFTER HE SANG THEM HILARIOUS SONGS. I was actually upset. Actually upset that he got voted off. Stupid ABC. They need to take lessons from VH1 in the sense that THEY NEED TO APPEASE THEIR VIEWERS!! GAH! Erm. Yeah. Anyway. I love the Weatherman. I want to write to him!



#2 - Craig McKinnon


THIS GUY. THIS GUY RIGHT HERE. THIS GUY HAS AWESOME HAIR. ALL CAPS. FOR REAL. I have a hard time deciding who I like more - this guy or the Weatherman. On the Bachelorette he pretty much bullied the Weatherman - and the Weatherman kind of sort of proceeded to act like a little girl. I love him, but he was pretty lame on the Bacheorette. Anyway, Craig dressed up in some of the Weatherman's stuff and paraded around, making corny weather jokes. It was brilliant. The Weatherman, in return, went and told Ali that he was "dangerous." AND in the promotion/preview commercials for Bachelor Pad, Craig won my heart. He did. He said to the camera, "You know what they say about me. *pause* *hair flip* I'm dangerous." SO GOOD. SO FUNNY. This is a pretty good video, sums him up pretty well. He's an asshole. And I love him for it.



#3 - Frank Neuschaefer


This guy is just "smokin' hot," to quote Brett Michaels (lol). I was rooting for him hardcore throughout the entire season. Too bad. If you've been living in a hole, or just hate reality television (both 100% acceptable!) he made it to the final three to decide that he was still in love with his ex-girlfriend, and flew back out to Tahiti to meet Ali and tell her what happened. The drama, it was so intense. Man. Glasses on hunks are hot. Teehee! This is a video of the break up. Hella intense television. The music is so corny though. It makes me angry. (Remember to look at how cute he is!)



...and yeah well that's it for this post. I want to play more Sims.
Actually, I lied. Gonna go watch Big Brother in five minutes. Sims can wait 'til later.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Re: I'M BAACK

annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd so is my music!

Man oh man, I missed you laptop.

Just added... a lot of stuff. Should keep me content through the year! :]

Still need suggestions though... I wouldn't mind finding a hella cool band or two.

And my Muse collection is now complete. Ehehehehehe :D

Saturday, August 21, 2010

HEY YOU LOOK FUCKING STUPID

MORE RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGE



(I am def PMSing. XDD)

People on Facebook are hellamotherfucking lucky that I didn't put a pic of them on here. I was tempted. Instead, because I felt mercy was due (for some stupid reason) I googled "hipster glasses" and got that pic up there. ↑ Girl isn't even ugly. Just LOOKS STUPID IN THOSE DAMNED GLASSES. I hate everything they embody. ~.~

I'M SO ANGRY AT THE WORLD THIS EVENING

AAAAAAAAAAARRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

~.~

I'M BAACK

SO, after a loooooooooooong time spent laptop-less, I have returned.

And oh, dear blogger, I missed you a ton. No venting room is torture.

There's been quite a bit to vent about, as well...

BUT! I started writing this post specifically for a certain little reason.

Me... I don't trust myself anymore. But I know I'm a good person. A cool person. A person people like to be around. I'm not as shy as I make myself out to be. I don't want to be so damned shy anymore. The only reason I ever was in the first place was the fact that I was so damned scared of what everyone would think...

For example: during camping trips with the Specerts (and Matty! :]) I am bat-shit crazy. Borderline insane, and I am so happy. So joyous. And my happiness, and almost retardation keeps me, me. I really needed that camping trip to make me feel comfortable in my own skin again. I mean, after last year, I thought I was not only ugly, which for me, is sadly a thought I think of myself far too often, but too loose, as in I thought that I was borderline skank. I didn't do anything. Nope. I don't believe that shit, but I feel like I pretty much convinced myself that I was a terrible person. I'm not. I know I'm not. I am aware of who I am... I just have to remember this year that if people don't like me as the ditzy, loud, blonde girl who's happiness rivals that of another's depression, well, fuck 'em. I never really had this problem in high school. Never had to deal with the dire need to make friends. When I got to UCSC, I know that I was somewhat in a state of panic. And then I broke my hand. Found people. Some good, some bad. Still pains me to say that some are bad... but that'll be okay eventually when we both grow up a little more.

Okay... so! I want to discuss my super self consciousness about being skanky, loose, or minorly whorish, because I remember hearing last year that the girls thought I was a little loose. All I've got to say is wow, you either A) Lied to please the crazy B) Actually think so... SO I'm going to make clear that: Any action I took last year regarding men was not slutty. It's OK to like men or women, or whoever, just to clarify so I'm not seen as being discriminatory, and want to be in a relationship. I'm going to list some "boy" instances for me this year, and explain what I think about them, then say a piece on my ideas about dating, and stuff like that.

1) First crushes - People in Santa Cruz were new, attractive, and interesting. I basically had a crush on everyone and was a little bit of a creeper. I'll admit that. But I didn't do anything with anyone nor develop any actual feelings for any of those people. A crush is a crush. It's a silly infatuation.
2) Marc - I thought he liked me, I liked him. I feel like that's self explanatory.
3) Drunk Darlene - This is something I really want to address. Once Mark stopped talking to me last year I had nobody to feel totally comfortable around when I was drunk. I remember being asked once, "Why do you want to be with Ryan so bad?" Why? Because I trust him. I more than likely even liked Ryan more, and wanted to be with him because he was my friend. The hanging-off-ness comes with the Drunk Darlene package, I'm afraid -- but if that were ever to become an actual issue that needed to be worried about, y'know, I would've, but it didn't because Ryan and I are both mature enough to be around a member of the opposite sex and just be friends, (not to mention he has a wonderful girlfriend) doesn't mean I need to be attacked for wanting to be around him more than another group. After a while I started to branch out to more people, the people I really liked and trusted (Cam, Logan, British Jon). I did it with the girls too (Kendal, Julia, Liz), but that was never really noticed, and hey, personally, I'd prefer to hang off of a guy than a girl. I'm into them. IT'S OKAY TO BE A LITTLE FLIRTATIOUS. IT'S FUN. Just as long as you don't make bad decisions (AKA having drunk sex), I see nothing wrong with it. I mean God, I'm a whore? I'm just exploring my options. I'm only going to be in college once and I am going to live it up, explore, and hopefully find someone that will be my other half. I don't KNOW if it's going to happen in college, but it might, and why waste time not finding out? Er. Yeah. Rant. I just mostly wanted to say cuddling while drunk isn't slutty, it's pretty much perfectly normal.
4) Cameroon - I love Cam to death. We kind of both had a thing for each other, but decided it'd be best for us to just stay friends. I'm happy with it. :]
5) Creepy Kyle - So I was asked once, "Darlene, did you have sex with Creepy Kyle?" and I responded, "No." That's what happened. We hung out a bit, and I remember following him around one night, but nothing serious ever happened.
6) (cue dun dun dunnn) TANNER - DURRRRRRRRRRR this is the one that aggravates me the MOST! I feel like waiting a month, month and a half, maybe even two (I don't remember when they broke up) after a 1-2 month relationship is ample amount of time for someone to become interested in another person. AKA Tanner isn't a terrible person for liking me after some time, and nor am I a terrible person for giving him a chance. I had always liked Tanner as a person and I thought it might work out. Too bad it was the contrary, but whatever, he's still a very cherished friend, and c'mon, if we don't work, what more can I ask for? :D Either way, sure, I prolly messed up not asking Allyson if it was okay. I get that I crossed the line a little bit there, but then again, I sort of think that that was a silly place for the line. I had a best friend start dating a guy, who I had dated for 6-7 months, and had only been broken up with for a month. She's still my best friend. For me, men aren't worth friendships and some friends are not worth men, and the sooner more girls figure that out, the sooner I will have more female friends. I think with my brain and my heart, because anyone I am even minorly interested in dating is my friend. I honestly didn't think that it would become the biggest drama infestation I've ever had to deal with in my entire life. I didn't have to deal with petty bullshit of that level in high school. Just thinking about all of the idiotic pain and suffering I went through last year makes me want to throw up more. And I was already sick earlier today driving home from Fort Bragg. XD Oh, and, yeah. I had sex with Tanner. HE TOOK MY V-CARD, OH NO. Are you people crazy? Do you think Prince Charming is the only person you're ever going to have sex with? ARE YOU INSANE?! I'm glad Tanner was my first time. He's a good person and I trust him and I feel like he'll be a part of my life for a while - if not - oh well, life goes on.

I don't really know what else to say on that subject.

I feel a little better now, though. And my Mom's in my room talking to me so I guess I should prolly pay attention to her. Derp. ~.~

Friday, August 13, 2010

I Can't BELIEVE I Haven't Already Posted This:

Fucking love Vry. He's the best. XD ♥
For anyone that doesn't get it: I'm Kilye. I wear skirts, make pizza, and get stalked. The song parodied is "Hey There Delilah."

...I was looking around on Magitek forums.

Hey lil' Kilye
Do you like Rancho Cordova
I'm a million yalms away but tonight your skirt's so pretty
Oh yes it's true
My belly's fuller knowing you
I swear its true

Hey lil' Kilye
Don't you worry about eventing
I'm right here if you get MPKd so baby try to listen
Close your eyes.
Don't listen to all of Mashu's lies
I'm on your side.


Oh its what you bake for me
Ohhhh its what you bake for me
Oh its what you bake for me
Ohhhh its what you bake for me
Oh its what you bake for me
What you bake for me

Hey lil Kilye
I know that getting gil is hard hard,
Believe me now my darling
The Marinara Pizza wont go hard
So feed me good
I'll buy the life you knew I would
Your pizzas good

Hey Kilye darlin'
I've got so much left to say
If every little word I wrote to you
I could deliver in a day
I'd stalk ya down
Someday you'd find me in your town
I'd stalk ya down

Oh its what you bake for me
Ohhhh its what you bake for me
Oh its what you bake for me
Ohhhh its what you bake for me
Oh its what you bake for me
What you bake for me

A continent seems pretty far
But google maps seems good so far
I'd email you for pizza every day
The linkshell they make fun of us
And we just laugh and cry because we know
that that none of them get pizza at thir price.
Kilye I can promise you
That by the time your pizzas thruogh
Metsu Stroke will never be the saaaaaame
And you're to blame

Okay now Kilye you be good
and quickly clear your cache and history
Two more minutes until Calvin's there
and you want your online life to stay a mystery
Yeah you do.
You know you're blond but we
you
We could stalk anyone we wanted to
But Kilye darling we chose you.
We're stalking you.

Oh its what you bake for me
Ohhhh its what you bake for me
Oh its what you bake for me
Ohhhh its what you bake for me
Oh its what you bake for me
What you bake for me

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Fuck Yeah California!

FUCK YOU PROP 8!!

YAAAAAAAAY :] :] :]

I cannot understand why people would ever discriminate against other people for being in love!

EQUALITY = WIN

If you live in a state that is not CA, let me explain:

'Bout two years ago, Prop 8 was on our ballot.

It was basically: If Prop 8 passes, gay marrigae will not be valid in CA.

Prop 8 passed. Not by a lot, but yeah, whatever. Fucking nasty bullshit.

TODAY!

A judge ruled that Prop 8 was unconstitutional.

Fuck yes. Fuck yes. Fuck yes!!

Thank you world! ♥

Monday, August 2, 2010

Stuff to Read...

Some of it looks good... happy August!

http://www.slate.com/id/2262070/pagenum/all/#p2