Tandy Beal
Arts Education in the Community
10 Janurary 2011
"We Can Work It Out" Reflection
When I first opened We Can Work It Out, I was thinking to myself, "Oh great, another silly self-helpesque pamphlet thing for me to look over once, and never again." I found myself surprised by Marshall B. Rosenberg's clarity in his explanations, which were so clear that I actually paid attention to what he was saying. It was quite the nice change from what I expected from this short piece. His explanations of a strategy versus a need was probably the clearest - and from what I've read, the most important to have such a clear explanation. His examples were more or less relative to everyday life, save the warring tribes example, so I felt I could relate to them more (not that I'm a wife, but I can see domestic problems clearer than more violent issues). While reading his work, I felt that I understood the difference between a strategy and a need. I also felt I understood how common it is for people to analyze and insult each other rather than work a conflict out. I feel like the ability to sense another's needs come mostly with time and practice, but it was nice to see how in the text Rosenberg demonstrated his own skill. It was also helpful that he provided a list of common human needs, so that I, as a young conflict resolver-type person, have a basic outlook on human needs so I can attempt to sense whatever needs the parties in conflict desire. Rosenberg points out that checking with each party for understanding is an important step in his Nonviolent Communication. He has each side repeat the need of the other, which I feel is very important to the process. I feel like a conflict isn't truly resolved if both parties don't comprehend the entire process. He also has them repeat what the want in positive action language, saying what they need clearly, not what they don't want, so that definite communication is established. Obviously, all conflict meditations must be followed by the actions agreed upon, and Rosenberg states that clearly. At the end of this presentation, he writes a bit about conceding and respect. He explains that there is a way to talk that demonstrates your interest in your own needs, and that of another's. It's quite helpful information, especially dealing with smaller children who can misinterpret words and notions easily.I plan to use Mr. Rosenberg's ideas to solve any conflicts I may come upon in this course. It doesn't really matter what will or will not happen - I feel that anything can be solved in this fashion, I just have to make it happen, and remember that everyone is human and has their own needs. I've also got to remember that when dealing with children, they're not always aware that another person's needs need to be met. I'm sure that this brush-up on necessary communication skills will be quite useful in the term to come.
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