FRL! Rough Drafts - Darlene McCoy
Single's Side
Furever Alone
Distraught, deranged, or downright depressed by your single status this Valentine's Day? Drowning yourself in your favorite carton of Ben & Jerry's ice cream? Retreating into your bedroom to give yourself the only pleasure available? Enjoying what you can of your sad splendor? Your pup is probably watchin' - watchin' with those big ole' brown eyes of his, thinkin' to himself, "Me too man, me too." He's yearnin' for the lovin' that you give yourself. He's yearnin' for the feeling of release. Dear reader: did it ever cross your mind that your puppy has never experienced Valentine's Day? Ever? He's never experienced the joy that you're missing so sorely. He's never been with that "special someone." He can't even wank what's left of his mutilated weasel. You've done all you can for yourself, now do something for him. Get him a doggie lover doll. He'll be able to release all of his tensions. You guys can even get down to business together! Together, on Valentine's Day. In rhythm, in time, maybe even at the same time, if ya know what I mean. Share the pain of singleness with your pup, doodle yo' noodle with that dog -- you'll be even closer than ever before! Man's best friend, indeed.
Couple's Side
Please Yo' Pooch
Enjoying making plans with your significant other for the big V-Day this weekend? Thinkin' about the wonderful, romantic, kinky or just fuckin' nasty shit ya'll are gonna do? Well, dear asshole with a significant other: your pup is missing out on the fun. He's all alone. All he can do is lick his genitalia. How would you feel, lickin' you balls on Valentine's Day? First you remove him from his manhood, and then you enclose him in a space where all the good puppy-lovin' 'round the hood is just out of paw's reach? What the hell kind of person are you? Do your poor helpless pooch a favor this holiday -- buy him a friend. A silicone friend, with a silicone puppy-vag. (It's even easy to clean!) Your legs, and significant other will thank you for it.
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