Dear anyone who gives a fuck:
I am extremely offended that people 1) created sides 2) took sides 3) threw insults. Ya'll realize that if you had told him to shut up, I'd not be pissed off and writing this now, yeah? I'm not going to sit here and insult anyone, though. I'm just going to explain why I, and some others (the fucks given now are 0) are upset.
While this piece involves Linus and Tyler, this is more of a defense of all the people who have a legitimate reason to be mad, and their right to not be insulted for feeling that way.
I feel like the biggest problem with this issue is the source of information was quite faulty, and a misunderstanding of the situation, on either side, would lead to a split on opinions. It has a few grey areas that can be twisted to promote either side...
To be frank: I didn't give a fuck at first. It was none of my damn business. I'm involved in this as a mediator because one friend wronged another, and I'd like one to feel better, and the other to learn and grow from this experience. I also wanted to make it possible to resolve this issue, because man oh man, the giant shitstorm it could cause would be one for the ages. Some resolution came about yesterday, but the situation is still complicated because I personally don't feel like all the facts have been brought to the table. Also: if I were not there, yesterday, to run as emissary between the two, set up a conversation, and mediate said conversation, Linus would have not really given Freshman a chance. Sometimes, it's good to have a middle person involved to resolve a conflict. Sometimes, shit really isn't your business, but you can help, and there's not a damn thing wrong with wanting to help other human beings. Linus and Freshman were both very appreciative of all I have done in this situation.
Because I was called a Middle Schooler, I now personally give a fuck, and while it is quite juvenile and not of my nature to respond to such a stupid accusation, I've been feeling quite rant-prone and am going to do so anyway... fucking tired of having mad shit talked about me, being aware of it, and doing nothing to stop it, 'cause I want to keep my friendships strong. But thinking about it: in the end, if I've got friends who speak so poorly of me behind my back, what do I have? Nothing. And I'm not okay with that. I want real friends who will treat me with the same kindness and respect I strive to treat them with. (Not saying I'm perfect, but fuck you if you don't think I genuinely try to be a good person.)
{End short tangent.}
{Back to the subject matter.}
I'll tell you right now, the other people up here give even less fucks. We're not upset that Tyler got with a girl - in fact, we're more than happy, he might be on track to get a life of his own - but the way in which he went about his actions was utterly disrespectful to Linus, and that's not okay.
Now, to explain why we're upset:
Earlier that day, before the party, we'd all been having lunch together, and Freshman brought up that he had invited Cassandra (which, was sketchy on its own, it wasn't his place to do so). He explicitly stated that, "I am not going to touch her for 2 months out of respect for Linus." He did exactly the opposite. Sure, he didn't go into the party with foul intentions, but he did not act the way he intended. This is a character flaw, the kid says one thing, and does another. It doesn't matter that he was drunk. When has that ever been a valid excuse for anything other than vomiting or falling over? So, why shouldn't we be upset that he deceived, even though there was no malicious intent, us (specifically, the people at lunch that day), and more importantly, Linus?
The other reason why people are upset is Linus had no closure. On their last date, Casandra told him that she was not ready for a relationship, and that she might be very interested later. While I'm aware this basically means "No, I'm not interested," in girl-speak, Linus himself did not understand it as such, thus he had no closure. He believed that there was still a strong chance for a relationship. If the situation was simply, they dated, and now they're not, Freshman would be totally in the right, but that's now how the cookie crumbled. His actions show a complete disrespect toward and disregard of Linus and his feelings. And now, I know ya'll don't give two fucks about Linus, but if it were say, Asher and Liz, I feel like this would be more of a big deal. Just because the situation involves Linus, it doesn't make it okay.
I'm going to use different people in an example here... to show my point...
Say when uh, Tanner and I broke up, Tanner obviously still had a lot of feelings for me... (Tanner you can debate this if you want, I'm just using this as an example, ok?) And if uh, let's say, Cameron were to totally disregard his feelings, and attempt to woo me (weird...), especially with the understanding that Tanner was still very emotionally involved with me, wouldn't you guys consider that a dick move? And furthermore, Tanner and I had officially "broken up," and there was no longer a chance for a relationship to develop... but I feel like Cameron would still be considered to have done something "wrong" to Tanner. Why isn't it the same for Linus? Because he's kind of a dick?
To elaborate further on Freshman's lack of respect: a person who was sober has told me that Freshman uttered, almost word for word, "Linus deserves it, because he's such a dick to me all the time." While understandable, because Linus isn't really the easiest of fellows to get along with, the reasoning here is not only immature, but completely disrespectful, and furthermore, said maliciously. AKA: not okay. It also demonstrates that Freshman was aware that his actions would hurt Linus. Why? Because he was aware that Linus was still involved with her... still attached...
His defense to the above is:
"I thought Linus was reacting much in the same way any guy would around someone he dated. I thought he was upset because that's what guys do. They get upset when they see someone they were once involved with with another person. They get pissy."
A grey area. It's Freshman's word that you have to either take or leave here.
More reason: most of us up here believe that Freshman was aware that Linus was still very attached to Cassandra. His defense is that he simply "forgot" a one-on-one conversation between himself and Linus regarding her specifically. Freshman recalled that, during that conversation, he said, "No, I do not like her, I just want to hang out with her." (Probably phrased less simply, and with less words, but meh.) His recognition of what he said is enough evidence for me that he did in fact remember said conversation, and conveniently "forgot" that the conversation took place when he was confronted about it. If he could have at the very least approached Linus and told him that he changed his mind, Linus, at that point, could be upset, 'cause competition sucks, but he could not be upset at Tyler for being up-front and honest with him. And I believe that he wouldn't be.
Another defense of Freshman's is that, "Linus doesn't talk to me, so how could I know he was interested in her?" I'm pretty sure the kid lives at my place, and hell, even Alec, our socially awkward I don't give a fuck champion, knew that Linus was crazy about her. My reaction is just simply: really? He had a whole fucking conversation with Linus about this matter... I cannot seriously believe that he can be that dumb. The logic does not work in my mind.
Another grey area: his word versus logical reasoning.
I'd also like to take the time to point out that he went straight to the downtown house after the incident. While I did tell him to stay away from my place for a while, to let Linus calm himself, I see Freshman going to the downtown house as a demonstration of his guilt... while I am aware that Ryan initially gave him a hi-five for his "victory" the night before, and that is what started conversation, Freshman told me that his intention in going to the downtown house was, "I just wanted to make sure they weren't all pissed at me." What he did, in addition to that, was tell his story so that what happens seems like no big deal, in order to make himself feel better, because the kid isn't stupid, and he's well aware that he dun goofed. And with a situation that can be swayed to either side, well, it's quite understandable that one could perceive someone being upset about it as acting childish, or being a "Drama-Infested Middle Schooler," to quote.
To further my argument: I'm also going to point out that this is not the first instance in which Tyler has been all over a girl who he should have not been. I'm not going to go into the details, but the fact that this has happened twice now is even more reason to be upset. He's not learning.
Either way, please don't call me a drama-infested middle schooler again. I really don't like it, nor does anyone else here (though we did have a good chuckle!) I personally do not get mad at anyone unless I've got a legitimate reason to be, and I believe that the utter lack of respect for Linus is plenty reason for me to be upset. His lack of respect for Linus tells me that, in the future, he is quite capable of disrespecting others. This is not okay. My friends, people who aren't my friends, and random ass human beings all deserve respect.
I'd also like to point out that, while I just wrote a almost quite literally essay on this matter, people are not nearly as pissed off as I make it out to be, save Linus. I have a way in writing that comes off as very intense, because I'm extremely meticulous in my arguments, and I just want to make sure that all who read this post know that I'm not sitting here, as if I were a cauldron of fucked up potato soup, boiling over like a crazed loon. Additionally, it is very hard to convey human emotion in the written word, (at least compared to speech) so I've written this paragraph to soften any hard edges of this statement.
But honestly, in the end, all I want to say is: I feel like if we, as an entire group, could talk things out, and come to a singular conclusion rather than have each side spread rumors, insult one another (I'm not saying On Campus people are innocent, by any means, so you know) and jumble information, drama would not be that big of a deal. But it's going to take all of us acting like the adults we tell ourselves we are to do something like that. And sadly, with our history, I don't see it happening anytime soon.
Thanks for readin' & toodles!
Edited once at about 10:00 AM, after Lit.
1 comment:
bahahahaha
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