Everyday

Everyday, I try.
I try to help me.

Today, I painted my nails.
They are teal
and they have a crazy sparkle overcoat thing on them

They are for Cpt. America this weekend!

Because I am gonna go out,
I am gonna feel good.

I also got new stuff for my face.

I call it "Hope in a Bag"

Like that Philosophy brand's "Renewed Hope in a Jar"

juuuuuuuust a whole lot less expensive

(though that stuff is really nice.)

I must keep up the encouragement

I must keep up the drive


I am thinking about getting a journal

and at the end of the day, writing what I did that day

just a list,

a handwritten list to recovery, to new-found strength and happiness

there is an innate power in writing things by hand


I even thought about getting myself stickers to make my own homage to preschool in helping myself!

I only get a sticker on that day if I accomplish a few goals or something.

Maybe that's too much, but maybe that's the silly kind of motivation I need?

After a certain amount of stickers I take myself out to eat. By myself, somewhere.

Food motivates me like nothing else ever... it's the best...

I also looked at painting supplies yesterday

It'll cost me like $30 to get some brushes, some paint, and a few canvases

I still have to work so hard
to make me me again

I am so vibrant and full of life and keeping myself locked in my room is just
such a waste?

What a nice thing to type.