! ! !

That guy came to my room.

To see me.

WHOOOOOOOOA

o,o

To. See. Me.

Oh dang.

IS THERE HOPE?!

...I hope so...

'cause the other night I HELLA blew my chances with Marc...

<.< >.>

...or Nicole did...

damned stupid hoe...

(I love her.)

This weekend, has been intense shit.

INTENSE SHIT, brought to you by ADD Love!™

Oh Vryali~

You make me smile. You make me smile so much.

:]~ YEEEEEEEEEE

This Is What I Did Last Night:

It was awesome.

Just sayin'.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=39665&id=1499802040&l=eae807c81f

So, Like...

:( I don't feel good tonight...

See, um.

I really kind of sort of liked a certain someone...

...and I thought that he might of liked... me back...

but

. . .

Allyson just broke up with Tanner and stuff...

so she's looking for a new guy...

but

she

likes...

the same

guy

...

SO --

being her friend,

and stuff

I don't

want

to be like

Hey... I really like him...

I don't...

want...

to compete...

~.~

but

yeah...

He doesn't really like me a whole lot anyway... so

even if I did decide to compete...

I'd probably lose... >.<

So

Asher

or

Kid from College 8

and honestly, I like the kid from College 8 a bit...

I don't really know.

I'm just kinda upset... I feel things slipping away...

and...

I'm no longer the Lady of AZGAR...

Erick... has totally forgotten...

about me... :(

I loved Erick... so much

he was such a good friend...

but now I see I was only a friend
...because I was Greg's girlfriend...

and now that I've been replaced...

well...

That's it.

It's really... sad... :(

No Title

What is love?

Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me~

NO MORE.

What is love..?

Love...

Love is my obsession.

Love is my love...

I am hopelessly obsessed with finding a great love...

the perfect love.

I live for it, I breathe for it...
and I can't wait to find it...

Silly impatience.

Silly, silly.

It makes me crazy!

I know I'll find it one day...
but... like...

right now

I need someone

somebody...

something...

anything...

anyone...

to take care of me...

I'm tired. I'm fucking exhausted.

I want to cry. I want to break down.

I want to escape this world. It makes me so horribly sad.

All the fucked up things... children dying... as I sit here and type on a laptop...

I could have given the money my Mom spent on this thing to some poor soul... so they can eat and stuff.

and they could have seen their loved ones for longer...
they could have experienced the world for longer...

See, the world isn't a terrible place...

the world is actually fucking beautiful

Humans. We're ugly.

We destroy the world. We destroy the beautiful essence that is life.

We are a sick and miserable species.

We are so fucking sick that we don't even realize how damned sick we are.

When we are little, our brains aren't developed enough to pick up on the shitty things in the world. We're not able to understand sadness. Why else would everyone want to stay young forever? When we are young we are naive to the bullshit, the sadness, the horrid things, everything that is terrible. We're naive. I miss being young. I feel I've grown up waaaaay too fast. I feel that I was cheated out of the best years of my life. My childhood was way too short. Too short. Too fast. My life as an adult... will be so long...

That is, until I find that love.

That love:

The person who I can tell everything.
The person who will still love me afterward...
The person who will accept me for who I AM.
I'm a sad, hurt person... but I am a damned strong person. I cast off sadness. Other people can live in their own miserable lives.

BUT I REFUSE.

I FUCKING REFUSE.

I refuse to be sad. Humans don't have to be sad. We just have to be strong enough to be happy.

I... hate... the way we are. Humans. Us. We.

I wish... that everybody could enjoy the simple things:

The beautiful things.

Enjoy their senses...

Sights... smells... sounds... tastes... touches...

They are the most wonderful feelings... the best experiences.

Get the fuck out of your heads people;

GET THE FUCK OUT.

Seriously, like.

I know humans suck.

Life sucks.

THAT'S HOW IT IS.

How can other people not accept this?

I've accepted it. I'm damned aware of it.

Why can't everybody else?

Human life SUCKS, k?

It just does.

We don't need to like

live... in sadness.

There's still wonderful things in this world.

Look past sadness. Look past pain. Look past people. Look past it all.

FACE YOUR FUCKING FEARS.

Look them in the face, and tell them they are bullshit.

Your fears are nothing. You are strong.

STOP PRETENDING YOU'RE WEAK.

and if you are weak, darling.

Admit that to yourself.

Pride is nothing.

REAL PRIDE COMES FROM ACCEPTANCE.

Accept the world. Accept yourself.

You are who you are...

and you're beautiful...

everyone... is beautiful...

everyone... deserves to be happy.

Everybody. Deserves. To be. Happy.

Happiness. :]

Smiles, joy...

GOOD TIMES

singing, dancing...

Love...

the ultimate happiness...

I miss love...

Though, my last love was not complete.

It wasn't true,

well, it wasn't as true as I wanted it to be...

I couldn't tell him everything.

For a while, I was too weak to admit to myself that it wasn't.

I didn't want to lose the person who made me happy.

But... when... that person stopped... making me happy...

...well

I started to think--

I started to realize.

R E A L I Z E.

I started to realize what I wanted out of life.

I want to be happy. Love just happens to be the ultimate form of happiness for me.

I'm going to be happy one day. I'm different. I can accept. I can deal. I'm fucking strong.

I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry I'm happy.

I feel bad for you, you:

the people who cannot accept the world, and still be happy.

Ya'll should take some of the shit I'm on: it's hella good.

Teehee!

I'm gonna go get FOOD.

FOOD WITH KENDAL~!

Did you know she's awesome? She really is.

That's why Cooper likes her so much more than me.

Dang.

FUCK TWILIGHT

Just sayin'

Fuck that shit.

In the butt.

What what? In the butt.

Buttt.

I'm so bored...

Blogging. Bored. Bored. Blogging.

Are they synonymous?

peut-être...

peut-être...

I'm so sleepy, dude.

Really. Sleepy.

I kinda have an issue...

buuuuuuuuuuuut

that's ok!

Hi Mark

:)

You're my frieeeeeeeeeend

For sure, dude.

FO'SHO, YO!

Aww, I was hoping that'd make you laugh.

It needs my ridiculous voice

Except I have to use spell check to spell ridiculous right

Teeeheeeeeeee~

:]

Sometimes, the smile is square

Sometimes, the smile is circular

BLAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGG

I write the best blogs ever. Just sayin'.

:)

CIRCULAAAAR.

:]

SQUAAREE.

OH MY GOD.

HOLY FUCK

SO SLEEPY.

I like to type.

>.<

I like boys

that will never like me. :(

It's a depressing feeling.

I miss being loved so much... :(

SOOOOOOOO MUCH.

I think it's secretly killing me from the inside out.

I can't think, I can't sleep.

Well, that's a lie.

I can sleep a LOT.

Hmmm...

What to do?

There's that kid from College 8, but I guess he didn't want me to go to the movies with them.

He'd probably like a girl... prettier than me, anyway.

Probably.

I think I'm pretty fuckin' awesome.

Just sayin'.

I'm a damned good girlfriend... but I forgot how to flirt... I forgot how to interact...

OH WELL.

TOO FREAKING SLEEPY TO CARRRRRRRRE.

~.~ zZzZzZZ

Dear Ryan:

This post is just for you!
Just in case you ever decide to look at my blog again:

I want you to know that you're a wonderful friend, a talented musician, and a great person.
I'm so happy to have met you.

S'all.

:]

PS: You just said we should start drinking RIGHT IN FRONT OF A CSO.

Fucking epic.

Tonight

Is either going to be entirely amazing
or an epic defeat

or...

...nothing at all

the third option would perturb me the most.

Like seriously, I'd be freakin' angry.

RAWRRR!

Hmmm.

I'm really kinda excited,
and really kinda scared
but aren't we all?

This world is batshit crazy

and y'know, that's just how it is.

Bat. Shit. Crazy.

Have you ever seen batshit?

I haven't, but I bet it's crazy.

FUCKING CRAAAZZZZY.

Loco in the capesa?

Shit. I don't know Spanish.

Where the fuck is Miguel?

Teeeheeeeeeee~

K so,

Tonight.

Intensity,

will be intense.

So intense.

SO FUCKING INTENSE...

or

another really sad post
and depressing post

... may be written at 2 AM.

Let's hope not. Let's hope I'm as damned amazing as I think I can be...

Why the fuck am I so crazy over this boy? I hardly know him.

I can't decide if I'm obsessed with the idea of someone to love
'cause good lord do I miss that,
but,
I keep telling myself,
that,
there's something special about this person...

I don't know why. I can't explain it. I just like
y'know,
can tell him everything...

I dunno... I feel like if I just give up on this one it'll be something I regret...

I kinda... want him to not like me...

So I can feel free of this.... mass loneliness again...

but... the thing is:

I know he likes me...

The way he kissed me... man...

The tension in that room...

It was... really intense...

I just can't get over the feelings...

I was so freaking happy.

I want to be that happy again.

and the only way I can do that is to give this my ALL

...and I'm going to

T O N I G H T

Tonight's gonna be a good night~
...I gotta feelin'

AwooOOoOooooo~

Butterfly

Screw this. I'm not writing this. This story is just so pitifully sad, and makes David look like such a God damned bitch, that I don't want to ruin his reputation. He's a good guy and someone who is very talented. If he ever needs to network over the internet I don't want to fuck up anything for him. He's also a bitch. But I do care about him enough to want to help him not be such a bitch, but I don't know if he will let me know him well enough to let help him. He's very stubborn and hardheaded. That + being a bitch = bad combo for getting help.

Oh well. That's David's story.

I wish I could help. I want him to be happy in his life.

I was always hoping that I could tell David's story on here, as a story of self-recognition and stuff.

But I don't know if I'll ever be able to help the boy.

Sadness. That's all this story is.

Hopefully it'll change.

For his sake.

OH MY GOD:

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

THIS IS REALLY BAD.
OH MY GOD.
MONKEY.
OBAMA.
MONKEY.
OBAMA IS A MONKEY?!

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD.

I'm Inspired Tonight.

Courage.

You should have it.

Everybody should.

Courage - the quality of spirit that enables you to face danger or pain without showing fear.

Courage is being able to show the world who you are,
what you are,
and why you are,
and not giving a flying fuck what they think.
Courage is the ability to accept yourself for who you are.

Courage is being proud of your past,
your family,
and your mistakes
because without those mistakes - you would have never learned what you did from making them.

Courage is essential to leading a life of happiness--

If you are loved for someone who you are not, because you didn't have to courage to show the world who you are,

Your life is going to suck. It will be void of true love, and love is essential to the mental stability of all human beings. Love leads to sex. Sex is part of the primal instinct of man.

One is truly the loneliest number. Nobody wants to be a one.

Nobody wants a crappy, loveless, life. That's not good.

and if you think you want a crappy life;

please darling, find the COURAGE to change that thought.

Don't be a bitch. Bitches are lame. Teehee!

My Brain

Is so wrapped up with the idea of love,
That if it were under a Christmas tree, and a crazed 4 year old went at it,

It'd take at least a damned year for that kid to get down to the present, 'cause there would be so many LAYERS OF INTENSE WRAPPING PAPER.

Can I has present now please... :(

Impatient, hooo!

Love is my cocaine, and I'm missing it bad.

HOOOOOLY SHIT ON A STICK!!

I was right.

OH, it feels so good to be so bad.

MWAHAHAHAHAHA

FUCK YOOOOU, DOLPHIN!

Starlight

I fucking love Muse.

to hoooooooooooold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold you in my arms

Myyyy life

you electrify my liffeeeee

♥

I wonder WHO you are, darling.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CODY!!

Dear Mr. Cody BOOGLY:

Happy Birthday.

I'm very upset I'm not making you brownies right now.

I hope you enjoy your day..!

One of My Loves

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viggo_Mortensen

Viggo Mortensen - ARAGORN

Yeah, he's a damned hottie, but he's also an amazing actor.

Mmmmhmmm.

:]

I Finally Figured It Out

I'm a story teller

I tell stories

I'm a liar

I manipulate the truth

but the truth is still the truth

and isn't that the essence of every story?

aren't they all just truths, in different forms?

I've got a lot to say about the world

but only one hand to type...

so the TBWL List will continue to grow

until I can type as fast as I'd like to again...

I finally know who I am

...now if only he knew who he is...

Grrrr

Why...
why would you kiss me?
why would you play with my tongue?
why would you take my face in your hands?
why would you lay with me...
hold my hand...
and smile at me... with those eyes...
why would you tell me you were happy
why would you tell me I was so God damned cute
why would you hold me close...
why would you...

if it was something you couldn't do..?

Why would I, be so silly and naive...
to let myself go, again...
to relax, and to trust
why didn't I just listen to Ryan?
why did I think I could actually be happy?

Now why do I hurt, why do I feel?
all of a sudden, I'm no longer numb
...and I don't like it.

I'm so used to forgetting about happiness
I always thought I was done chasing it...
I always thought I could be fine
but you reminded me
and I can't get this off my mind...

I want to smile, for real.

I had a taste of happiness again...
and I want more...
the forbidden fruit calls to me
as I try to drown my thoughts in an never ending sea

Someday, happiness will come again,
and until then I will wait, my friend.

WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKK GRRRRRRRRR

WHY AM I SO UPSET :(

There Is:

So much to be written,
but only one measly hand to do so :(
Darlene is not amused.