LIT 103A - Paper #1

This is really colloquial. Don't think I'll get docked for it; nor do I really care. XD
We had to translate Spenser to... something and then explain our choices.

Darlene McCoy

Michael Ursell

LIT 103A

23 January 2012

From Spenser to Valley Girl

Oh em gee[1], Cuddie, stop being depressed,

So we may fish for fine dudes to follow,

So we may pass this endless time in bliss.

You were like, so used to living the life,

The wet t-shirt contest[2] champion, that's you!

Now you keep life in you, and it, like, suffers.

Piers, I have tried so hard to live this life,

But like, all my t-shirts have ripped and worn:

And like, all my attractiveness is spent,

I've gotten a few boys, but gained a name[3].

Yielding myself makes life unfulfilling,

And like, wet games no longer numb the pain.

I will not participate in another frolic,

To indulge those boys in my youthful gifts,

Piers, tell me: What good does that do for me?

They take all the pleasure, I all the pain.

I relinquish the goods[4], and the boys come:

Like, what good may Cuddie gain; doing this?

Translating Edmund Spenser's “October” of the Shepherad's Calender into a different, stylized form is quite the task. I took great care in my translation processes and gave each of my choices considerable thought.

            I understood lines 1-18 of “October” to be a person expressing their anxiety about writing poetry, and questioning if writing poetry is a way to live one's life. I also understood from the rest of the poem that the creation of poetry is innate to human nature.

            I chose to translate Spenser's archaic language into a dialect of English that I find a bit archaic - Valley Girl Speak! My use of "like," "so," dudes," and "Oh em gee" are all colloquialisms found in Valley Girl Speak, and I am using them to represent Spenser's additional "y"s and "e"s, found in his archaic English.

            Since I decided to translate Spenser's work into Valley Girl Speak, I found that two valley girls discussing if writing poetry is meaningful in life does not comply with what I would imagine two valley girls discussing on a daily basis. They needed to be discussing something relevant to their lives, for the shepherds in “October” did so. To remedy this - I decided to translate a discussion of poetry and creativity into a discussion of sex and sexuality. It seemed more fitting to me - and it is not so much of a stretch. Creativity is innate to human nature; as is sexuality. Writing poetry points to a Golden Age, where neither war nor industry rules the workings of the world, and in Edenic images of the Golden Age, portrayals of sexual freedom and fornication abound.

            In Spenser's poem, he uses diction that evokes writing or poetic imagery such as, "rhymes," "ridles," and "Muse." I decided to use diction that would convey sexual imagery; mostly through the use of double entendres. Double entendres are not apparent in Spenser's poem, but I decided to take some liberties, for my translation is more modern, and the comedic value in the double entendres represents the change in culture from Spenser's time to the present.

            One of the few elements of Spenser's poem I decided to keep was his form. This poem is all in pentameter (except for line 6; it is 11 syllables, as it is in Spenser's original), for I feel that verse has the power to amplify a discussion, because it stands out from colloquial prose. While the diction of this poem is rather amusing, the subject matter is graver. A questioning of performing sexual acts and sexuality is one that many a person goes through - and is extremely important to a person's development, especially in the society of the present. A discussion of writing poetry and creativity was important in Spenser's time, for why would generally uneducated shepherds have thoughts on the subject matter otherwise? And furthermore: why would Spenser immortalize their discussion in his verse if it was not a well-discussed thought in his society?

            I hope that my translation of “October” will make it more accessible to more people, for the language has been modernized and made colloquial, and that it will raise a discussion about sexuality, as I feel Spenser's poem facilitated discussions about creativity. My translation changes the subject matter discussion, but I believe that the values given to poetry could be attributed to sex as well. My changes, when read with the original, highlight these analogous instances. I also hope that a reader of my translation enjoys themselves - for I enjoyed translating this work and would love to share a laugh with whoever decides to read it!

---

[1] “Oh em gee” is the pronouncing of each letter of “OMG”; an acronym used in the sending of text via cellular device, meaning, “Oh my God!”

[2] A “wet t-shirt contest” is a contest in which women wear thin t-shirts and then are sprayed with water, in order for their breasts to protrude behind the near-transparent cloth.

[3] Name, in this context, should connote, “slut,” or “sexually promiscuous young woman.”

[4] “The goods” is a common slang term used for the sexually pleasurable aesthetics of a woman’s body.

LTEL 170C - Essay #1 Double Entendres

Darlene McCoy
Michael Ursell
LTEL 170C - Shakespeare
9 October 2011

Shakespeare's Spirit

Scholars attribute William Shakespeare's Sonnets as the embodiment of his spirit through the flow of his pen. Double entendres found in the text expand the amount of meanings his verse can produce and enhance the wit of his work. The word "spirit," encountered twelve times as a noun in The Sonnets, connotates more meanings than those derived at first glance. Specifically, in Sonnet 86 "spirit" found on line five, once in the singular, and once in the plural, produces at least three different meanings, which in turn produces three different interpretations.
A first interpretation developed by Shakespeare's choice of words constructs the idea that "spirit" may be synonymous with "wit" - meaning one's ability to write poetry. The words "verse" and "write" further edge on the reader to interpret the line in this way, for they are associated with the act of writing. Line 5, "Was it his spirit, by spirits taught to write" invokes the image of the Muse, a spirit, as a bestower of wit. Furthermore, the phrase "above a mortal pitch" implies that the wit is above that of human capacity, moreso divine, and thus only available because the Muse bequeathed it upon a mortal. Referring to the spirit, the lines continue, "No, neither he, nor his compeers by night / Giving him aid, my verse astonished." The Muse visits her mortal during the night, and this association only bolsters the idea that "spirit" is synonymous with "wit." If the reader of Sonnet 86 interprets the word "spirit" in this way, the poem depicts a man who is so sure of his love for a beloved that the power the Muse may bestow upon his rivals does not alarm him in the least.
A second interpretation of the word "spirit" in Sonnet 86 may elicit a darker reading of the poem. A "spirit" is a supernatural being or personality frequently conceived as troublesome, terrifying, or hostile to mankind. The word "tomb" provides for the morbid atmosphere of this reading. The phrase "above a mortal pitch" implies that one is no longer mortal, which could possibly mean that they are a spirit returning from the dead. The emergence of the word "dead" at the end of the line aids in the creation of the idea of a spirit returning from the dead. The word "ghost" found in line nine further implies that an apparition of some sort visits the speaker's rival poets. Why an apparition, though? What's so wrong with rival poets praising the beloved? It is possible that Shakespeare is trying to imply that the "intelligence" gulled to his rivals is an intelligence born of something foul, such as lust. If the reader finds himself reading Sonnet 86 through this interpretation, he finds himself reading a poem about a man whose words shatter under the power of lust, for his beloved looks upon those lustful words more than his own.
A third interpretation of the word "spirit" extracts yet another reading from Sonnet 86. This reading, a bit indelicate, takes on a sexual meaning. The first word to cue a reader in on this reading is "womb," - an important participant in sexual reproduction. "Spirit," in this reading, may mean the ability of one to perform sexual acts. The "spirits" in this reading may be the rival poets that the beloved has learned his "spirit" from. The word "familiar" found in line nine hints that the relationship between the beloved and his visitor(s) may be intimate, thus implying sexual. Line ten, "Which nightly gulls him with intelligence," suggests more innuendo. The word "gull" means to to devour voraciously, and the fact that the visitor is gulling him with intelligence might imply that the visitor is giving him intelligence in the form of sexual performance by indulging in his own desires. If the reader finds himself dabbling in the indelicacies of this interpretation, he reads a poem about a man who fears not what his rivals can do for his beloved sexually, but who is distraught when his beloved goes to them for sexual favors.
These three interpretations of Sonnet 86 are examples of the many different ways a poem can be read, and what a double entendre can do for the overall meaning of a poem. They are also examples of the great care Shakespeare took in choosing his words, and of his everlasting wit. May his spirit live forever in each man that reads his lines!

I Am!

Never gonna be good enough for some people,
BUT
with time,
I'm realizing that,
those who deny me, ditch me, make me feel lonely,
aren't good enough for me.

So fuck ya'll, fuck everything, I'm a damn good person and should be treated accordingly. I gotta stop being nice to people who could give zero fucks 'bout me. It's taken quite a while -- 'cause I believe in the good of errybody, but, y'know... it's silly to keep believing when it more or less kills you on the inside. Mental health man, it's important.

YAY!

Lots of deep conversation last night. Got some super lacking of self-confidence out. Was good. Got to meet Cory's sister and her friends. Also, good.

I did blow up my friend's Facebook a little, though:

Happy Valentine's Day!

So When I Get Bored

I look up pictures of Matt Bellamy.

XDD ILOVEHIMMM




































Dunno if this is Matt or Dom, but it is very amusing.



































I fucking love the internet.

The Broski and I

I love him. ♥

Super Anti-Glee Article

Minorly bat shit insane. I got a few good laughs from some of it.
Highlighted 'em in purple.

It's so disgusting to think that people are filled with such hate. So sad.

http://christwire.org/2010/01/what-every-parent-should-know-about-the-tv-show-glee/

An innocuous little show popped up on America’s tv screens late last year. Its name is “Glee” and it’s full of vibrant teens dealing with the gentle challenges of high school life. These are fresh-faced kids, hard working and motivated, who can break into song at the drop of a sweaty football. But is there more to this sugary pop of a series? Should parents be concerned about any subtext of adult themes and situations? What makes this show so popular?

An in-depth analysis of Glee will certainly raise the eyebrows of parents across America. It contains a surprising number of mature scenarios– from pre-marital sex to drug use, from adultery to abortion, from premature ejaculation to explicit homosexual experimentation. Glee goes out of its way to appear wholesome at first glance. The first 15 minutes of every episode is quite polite and that’s part of its success. It is colorful and cheerful with a scent of innocence. The message it seems to send is that teens should stay in school and aim for college. Yet beyond that (once the adults in the room tune out), it descends into a much darker place.
The Parents Television Council warns that Glee contains, “gratuitous sex, explicit dialogue, violent content, and obscene language. It is completely unsuitable for children.” This is reason enough parents should be tuning their teens out of Glee. But I would go even further– the ethical and social risks that Glee poses are so severe that it is unworthy of a home on a national network and should be removed from broadcast. I sincerely believe that no person or organization should continue to finance this show.

SEXUALITY, SPORTS AND SHOWTUNES

To understand the dangerous implications of this poorly conceived series, let me start with the characters. They are just not believable. All the women students look to be in their late 20s or early 30s in real life. The teachers aren’t the suffering and hardened types you’ll find in real American public schools. This rosy little place of Glee is devoid of gun violence, sexting, drug dealing, suicide and larger questions of faith.

Instead of a real world high school, we have a fantasyland of happy, shirtless teens hanging out in the showers or dancing on million dollar stages. Why must the producers of this show have so many shots of the football team in the locker room? They’re constantly dropping their shorts and jumping into a steamy shower, showing off tight biceps or lathering themselves all over with a fresh bar of soap. Is this some crafty attempt to appeal to the homosexual segment of the show’s audience? Is it really appropriate for today’s male teens to let this sort of softcore utopia influence them?

Additionally, the show has far too many musical numbers. From R&B hits to showtunes to classic rock & roll, the boys and girls of Glee really can put on a performance. But it’s not convincing on that million-dollar stage. They come across as trying too hard with their exaggerated facial expressions and hip posturings, the soaring voices ranges. They’ve clearly been coached. The singing is just too finely polished. The dance numbers are too excruciatingly choreographed. No high school kids can put on these sorts of shows at the spur of a moment. These things require years of gut-wrenching training.

Ultimately, these ad hoc songfests give children a very false impression about talent and success. They are led to believe if they just spin around and shout, they’re creating world-class music. They are led to believe we live in a world where anybody and everybody can succeed as long as they have heart. But this is far from true. Some people are born with the vocal chords for music, others have the bodies for football and others have the brains for math. That is reality. But this show is a drug of false expectations that will inevitably harm our children. It convinces impressionable teens to avoid serious career training in favor of having “fun” in the “arts.” Also, the music numbers just drag down the plot of the show.
On a related note, Glee’s actors constantly make the argument that excelling at athletics does not contribute anything to the college application process. They posit the theory that a singing club will make you more likely to get into Ohio State or Princeton. This is false and it’s reckless for the creators of this show to promote such disinformation. Athletics have been a proven stepping-stone for academic and business success for over a century. The number of athletes who have gone on to full scholarships at the very best universities in this country are legion and legendary. Nothing even close could be said of a minor high school singing club. If children take this belief to heart, it could wind up seriously hurting their chances of college survival as well as their health (sports are essential for keeping fit, strong and attractive!).
Another major fault with the show is its fawning celebration of teenage homosexuality and consumer indulgence. Again the show makes the case that accepting the gay lifestyle and making yourself as outrageous as possible will help you achieve something despite whatever social limitations you may have. Disregarding any sense of fair play, the show does not offer any alternative to the gay lifestyle argument. There are no teens cured of their relentless and wild male sex desires, there are no moral figures on hand to give a comforting hand, there are no popular boys who say, “I don’t want to hurt my family anymore and I love Jesus, so I am going to stop doing gay things with guys in the bathroom.”


THE GOLDEN GIRLS CONNECTION

Recently, I wrote about studies that revealed the dangerous influence that the 1980s tv show “The Golden Girls” had on American men now in their 30s, 40s and 50s (see “The Golden Girls: How One TV Show Turned A Generation Of American Boys Into Homosexuals”). The link between watching the Girls and increased risks of homosexual behavior was made abundantly meaningful. In a nutshell, the Golden Girls turned a generation away from procreation. It made our American boys into the most raunchy, campy, carnal people on the planet. If, as a society, we could have returned to the 80s with what we know now and stop that show, American culture might be drastically different today.

As I write about Glee now in 2010, I can’t help but think that America is on the threshold of another dramatic cultural shift. If we let this show continue, our children will find a way to watch it. It is a drug that is that addictive. If our children continue to watch, they will undoubtedly be influenced by its radical same-sex messages. A generation from now, when these children become adults, what kind of country will the United States be? How many middle-aged men will find themselves in a dead-end Glee-based lifestyle? Will they be ostentatious and sensitive, their dreams smashed up against a wall crying out to have that giant hole in their souls stuffed with some musky foreign thrill? Will they be violating what’s left of our traditional cultural landscape with unimaginable high-tech perversions, drenching, nay drowing the bright young men of tomorrow in their relentless sauces of net porn and showtunes, maximized liberties and stem-cell party drugs? Will male sports just become an excuse for gay locker room orgies? How long until these types also legislate to destroy the beauty of marriage, the safety of religion, the rights of the righteous? Look into the eyes of a young Kurt Hummel. Is that not the face our of future’s polymorphously perverse intellectual terrorist? Change the channel my friends. Change the channel and change the world!

PARENT’S GUIDE TO THE CAST OF GLEE

• Football Player Finn: An implausible character who goes both ways– glee club geek and handsome football star. He reminds one of the old lady Sophia on The Golden Girls– a bit of a cute, befuddled sidekick with some comic lines, but not a central character in the best scenes on the show. I truly feel for the actor who performs this poorly-written role, though I do enjoy his deft moves on the football field.
• Sue the Cheerleading Coach: Her acting comes across as pretentious and egomaniacal and possibly too masculine (is this intentional?). Tone it down a bit, that’s my advice. Bea Arthur of The Golden Girls has already done everything and anything you could possibly imagine doing in your career, Sue.
• Jewish Rachel: This girl is beautiful (and 30). I don’t understand why she’s playing like she’s ugly and unpopular! When gay people write tv dramas they often have no clue about what real women are like.
• Artie, Wheelchair: I don’t believe he sings. The lip-synching is frighteningly obvious and a sad footnote to this show. Couldn’t they have gotten an actual talented singer for this role? Plus, he needs a sidekick or a funny catchphrase.
• Mercedes Jones: Her sassy attitude does not set the right example for today’s young girls. She does sing well, and I appreciate that but I really don’t think this show is the right fit for her career. She really sticks out like a sore thumb. I could see her in a church choir, however. Or maybe play the wheelchair role?
• Quinn, Slutty Cheerleader: She is most definitely the “Blanche Devereaux” of Glee.
• Gay Kurt Hummel: I am afraid the makers of this show have dangerously indulged this young man’s fetish for expensive outfits. Children watching may be tempted to experiment with similar radical wardrobe choices. Why is everything he wears so bright and tight? Are we supposed to guess at the source of his income for such extravagance? Why did he quit football team? Will the writers of this show actually force him to do an on-air homosexual kiss or even worse? Sadly, with his clothing obsession and sassy attitude, Kurt Hummel may be destined to become this generation’s Betty White.
• Football Coach: Is it really necessary to have a man his age in such small shorts so often? Is this supposed to be funny?
• Will Schuster, Head of Glee Club: This effeminate charlatan is a surprising choice for the horndog adulterer. For many adults, he is not convincing in the least. Personally, I do not believe in having homosexual educators (or adult actors, for that matter) in such intimate, private contact with young people. Please, we do not need to see any more half-hearted and frankly laughable sex scenes involving this wet noodle.
• Victor Matlin: I really don’t know why he is on this show. He was in Titanic! I find the hugging with his son unseemly.

Luls in the Mornin'

FRL! Article

Pukin' Like a Pro - Darlene McCoy

Dear Freshmen:
Now that you've survived a quarter at UCSC, you've probably realized that parties happen, so puke happens - a lot. In light of these facts, the FRL! has put together a small guide on how to Puke Like a Pro.
Pre-Game: Eat Gogurt. All kinds, all colors. The brighter the colors, the better. Also try some rice -- with this small addition, you can create a trail of slime covered fruity pebbles. If you don't have any Gogurt on hand, the dining halls always provide something of an odd color or texture, too. (I'm looking at you, avocado-flavored soft serve.) Eat as much of whatever you can possibly fit into your mouth. The noms, they shall be so intense.
Once drunk off your ass: Start vomiting spontaneously. Don't stop. If your chunks are projectile, the deeper angle you get, the better. It creates more of a fantastic spectacle, especially if you ate the colored yogurt, you're a vomit rainbow! Beautiful. Continue to erupt: evolve into a vomit volcano, let your regugitated rainbow mush rain fire on the awaiting Pompeii. Toss yo' cookies, toss 'em over everything, everywhere. Take special interest in the furniture, especially, because the smell will seep into the fabric, causing its owners to remember you and your vomit time and time again. They'll never forget you. If you're feeling creative, spewing a smiley face, heart, or any shape of your choice on the window might be a nice touch. By this time, all eyes will be on you. Don't let them make you nervous. You are a champion, a performer, and this is your show. They are staring because they are mesmerized by your skill. Bonus points if you manage to puke on one of them. Friends love to be vomited upon -- the two of you will be even closer in the morning. They might even start vomiting. If they do, make sure to grab them and position them so you're back to back. Tilt your head a bit to get that deep angle that allows vomit to be so round. First you were a vomit rainbow, and now, with the addition of your friend, you're a heart of hurl! It's been said, by a very wise old man, known only as Mr. Daniels, that friends who puke together, stay together. So, after choosing your best friend for life and the rest of ever, fall down, to all fours, and flip your hair whilst continuing to vomit. Crawl, leaving a trail behind you, toward the restroom. When you arrive, give the toilet a hug. Toilets are lonely, they need love too! Then puke on it. On the toilet, not in it, mind you. Someone might be lucky enough to discover your present later! How sweet! If you are still feeling nervous, or a hint of stage fright is creepin' on your soul, now is a good time to talk to the toilet -- it is the only one that understands how you're feeling. Let all your stress go, cry into its arms if you need to, a toilet is always there. After recovering -- if needed, that is, you might just be the best damned puker on the planet - wipe any excess off your face. Good job and well done, you mighty pukester, you!
Exiting Stage Left (or Right): after finishing up, bring yourself to your feet, and prepare for the grand finale! Sprint, as fast as humanly possible, (which should be quite fast at this point) toward the exit. If you're an advanced drunkard: falling, tripping, and running into walls is recommended for additional artistic effect. Once at the door, swing it open with all your might. Expel yourself through it, vomit yourself through that door, because tonight, you have achieved victory. Continue on your path to the bus stop (drunk driving is bad, you asshole!), leaving sparatic trail of regurgitate along the way. Don't make them even -- you don't want any CSOs on your ass -- or thinking that all that vomit came from one motherfuckin' pukin' champion. Once the bus arrives, make your way to the back, where the row of five seats are, and bring up a small mountain upon the center one. Proceed to not give a fuck, and sit upon your throne. Gaze upon your subjects; note their mystified faces. Finally get to wherever the hell you live, stumble indoors, and take your pants off. (You just sat in vomit for a bus ride, remember? No? Good.) Then, dear champion, you deserve some rest. Pull yourself into bed, close your eyes, and drift off into a world of your own. You have done well, young padawan.

OMG THIS IS FANTASTIC

Love Tumblr in the mornin'.

A Word I Learned Today:

Cockwaffle.

Just thought you should know.

Cockwaffle.

I LOVE ELLEN DEGENERES!

This is Really Relevant to My Last Relationship:

(Greg, btdubs.)

lol... Love It.

Me: Pauly D cracks me up so bad...
Ana: I'd do him. He has sexy abs. Ugly face but sexy abs. I love abs.

It Was Stuck in Riley's Head, and Then Mine:

Some pretty intense luls, if I do say so myself!

The little girl is so cute... XD

Hijacked From Kimmy

I feel like my mother and I have done this before. I kind of miss her. I kind of miss home. But not like last year -- I don't desperately want to leave SC, it's just gonna be nice to be home for a bit.

Good Way to Explain Last Night:

I Gotta Say...

Last night was pretty sweet.

Yesterday was sooooooooo long at first:

Class, class, class, downtown, Alec being a pain, grocery shopping, carrying hella orange juice, Julia's for a whole 5 minutes, bus, talking to Mom about financial aid for 40 mins... ommmmmmmg it never ended.

Then I got home and helped Cam make dinner. Ana took pictures and we toasted to G104 with apple cider. It was legit as shiiiiit.

Oh and Cam's food was hella good. Especially the garlic bread. So yummy! ♥

I love my Cameroon~!

After that Ryan and I had to hella bounce. We were kinda late for Dylan's show, and I missed Biscuits. :( But! I didn't miss 3 other songs and I got a satisfying amount of headbanging in. We even had a ladies' mosh pit. I got thrown into a coffee table a little off of some retaliation from the real mosh put though. Fun times...

After that Riley gave me a beer, which was all I drank last night. (Sort of weird, lol) People didn't exactly get trashed last night. We all know we're going to on Sunday, so we just had a good time.

Then, I just kinda hung out. Cory and I made Tanner and Logan dance again... it's so fun lol... Kendal and Sarah and Coop danced with us a bit, too!

There was sort of a cuddle couch going on last night. All I gotta say is it was really hilarious. People are people are people who make me laugh. A lot. So awkward. Ahahahahahah XD

Riley gets drunk and all them ladies come around~ heeeeeeey!

Sometimes I seriously feel like people look at him and are like, "HEY I want to take advantage of him first!" "No me!" "No ME!"

Poor guy. Aha...

After that we just went back to Julia's. On the way there Kendal and I had an amazing conversation 'bout life, love, and the luls, and man, I just love that girl. I really do.

Blahblahblahblahblah

We arrived at Julia's and I got to play with Freddie a little! He's so soft and cute and omg kitty! ♥ ♥ ♥

Kendal and I were on the same painstakingly obvious wavelength. It was amusing as all hell.

Riley and I rolled out around midnight. Julia walked us to the bus station. Then we got on the bus, and I beat Riley up. Yep. Nawww, but Riley and I shared a good chuckle, and it was good. Look at me bein' all articulate. Hells yeaaaaah!

I got back to Logan looking more cracked out than usual and him telling me he was on heroin. Fucking Logan. lol. Freaked me out a little. Oh well. All is well.

Ana and Squid were in my room, so I stayed up 'til like 2 watching Lie to Me with Cam and a half passed out Logan.

Then, I passed the fuck out. Was so tired.

Now it's almost noon, and I gotta get in the shower! Gotta clean myself, eat, make candy skulls, and get the fuck downtown as soon as possible.

Tonight: madness takes its toll.

'CAUSE IMMA BE DOIN' THE TIIIIIIMEEE WAAARP!

I Feel Like Logan Will Appreciate This: