Mooski #23 Hurricane - 30 Seconds to Mars

This video is fuckin' intense, yo.
Pretty boy is fuckin' intense, yo.

(NSFW)

FRL! Article Sex & Gender Special Edition 2011

Doggie Toys - Rough Drafts
FRL! Rough Drafts - Darlene McCoy

Single's Side
Furever Alone
Distraught, deranged, or downright depressed by your single status this Valentine's Day? Drowning yourself in your favorite carton of Ben & Jerry's ice cream? Retreating into your bedroom to give yourself the only pleasure available? Enjoying what you can of your sad splendor? Your pup is probably watchin' - watchin' with those big ole' brown eyes of his, thinkin' to himself, "Me too man, me too." He's yearnin' for the lovin' that you give yourself. He's yearnin' for the feeling of release. Dear reader: did it ever cross your mind that your puppy has never experienced Valentine's Day? Ever? He's never experienced the joy that you're missing so sorely. He's never been with that "special someone." He can't even wank what's left of his mutilated weasel. You've done all you can for yourself, now do something for him. Get him a doggie lover doll. He'll be able to release all of his tensions. You guys can even get down to business together! Together, on Valentine's Day. In rhythm, in time, maybe even at the same time, if ya know what I mean. Share the pain of singleness with your pup, doodle yo' noodle with that dog -- you'll be even closer than ever before! Man's best friend, indeed.

Couple's Side
Please Yo' Pooch
Enjoying making plans with your significant other for the big V-Day this weekend? Thinkin' about the wonderful, romantic, kinky or just fuckin' nasty shit ya'll are gonna do? Well, dear asshole with a significant other: your pup is missing out on the fun. He's all alone. All he can do is lick his genitalia. How would you feel, lickin' you balls on Valentine's Day? First you remove him from his manhood, and then you enclose him in a space where all the good puppy-lovin' 'round the hood is just out of paw's reach? What the hell kind of person are you? Do your poor helpless pooch a favor this holiday -- buy him a friend. A silicone friend, with a silicone puppy-vag. (It's even easy to clean!) Your legs, and significant other will thank you for it.

Before:


After:

Date Night!

So I finally got to go out with that guy I've been talkin' to for a bit.

It was nice. I think he was terrified though, like super nervous. Poor guy. :)

On the bus ride there, there was a super-intense couple more or less making out in front of me. Was awkward. But they smelled amazing. So I got my creep on for the night!

We went to the Surf Rider Cafe (hella good, mmmmm!) and had dinner for like, 3 hours. That's a good sign, right? But sometimes it seemed like I just talked, for 3 hours. Oh man. My brain. Then we went for ice cream at the Pacific Cookie Company! Max was there, but he didn't recognize me. Meh. While we were eating ice cream, this kind of cracked out person asked if they could use my phone, and I just let him. Will kept staring at me and smiling, prolly trying to convey "Da fuck?" annnnnnnnd I just kept smiling at him, mumbling, "ooooh life," and attempting to get, "I just wanna be nice to the guy!" across to him. It only took a few minutes, anyway. We were more or less done after that, and he waited at the metro with me, which honestly took forever 'cause OMG buses blow past 10 PM on the weekends. Annnnnywaaaaaaaaay. I think he likes me. I think I might like him. Needs a second date. *shrug*

Later, after I got home, I got a few random ass calls from what seemed to be an intoxicated old black woman. Very amusing. Message saved. 

I really want him to come over to my apt, 'cause my friends are hella nice and there's Brawl and he might feel more comfortable, and open up a bit. It'd be cool.

Super Anti-Glee Article

Minorly bat shit insane. I got a few good laughs from some of it.
Highlighted 'em in purple.

It's so disgusting to think that people are filled with such hate. So sad.

http://christwire.org/2010/01/what-every-parent-should-know-about-the-tv-show-glee/

An innocuous little show popped up on America’s tv screens late last year. Its name is “Glee” and it’s full of vibrant teens dealing with the gentle challenges of high school life. These are fresh-faced kids, hard working and motivated, who can break into song at the drop of a sweaty football. But is there more to this sugary pop of a series? Should parents be concerned about any subtext of adult themes and situations? What makes this show so popular?

An in-depth analysis of Glee will certainly raise the eyebrows of parents across America. It contains a surprising number of mature scenarios– from pre-marital sex to drug use, from adultery to abortion, from premature ejaculation to explicit homosexual experimentation. Glee goes out of its way to appear wholesome at first glance. The first 15 minutes of every episode is quite polite and that’s part of its success. It is colorful and cheerful with a scent of innocence. The message it seems to send is that teens should stay in school and aim for college. Yet beyond that (once the adults in the room tune out), it descends into a much darker place.
The Parents Television Council warns that Glee contains, “gratuitous sex, explicit dialogue, violent content, and obscene language. It is completely unsuitable for children.” This is reason enough parents should be tuning their teens out of Glee. But I would go even further– the ethical and social risks that Glee poses are so severe that it is unworthy of a home on a national network and should be removed from broadcast. I sincerely believe that no person or organization should continue to finance this show.

SEXUALITY, SPORTS AND SHOWTUNES

To understand the dangerous implications of this poorly conceived series, let me start with the characters. They are just not believable. All the women students look to be in their late 20s or early 30s in real life. The teachers aren’t the suffering and hardened types you’ll find in real American public schools. This rosy little place of Glee is devoid of gun violence, sexting, drug dealing, suicide and larger questions of faith.

Instead of a real world high school, we have a fantasyland of happy, shirtless teens hanging out in the showers or dancing on million dollar stages. Why must the producers of this show have so many shots of the football team in the locker room? They’re constantly dropping their shorts and jumping into a steamy shower, showing off tight biceps or lathering themselves all over with a fresh bar of soap. Is this some crafty attempt to appeal to the homosexual segment of the show’s audience? Is it really appropriate for today’s male teens to let this sort of softcore utopia influence them?

Additionally, the show has far too many musical numbers. From R&B hits to showtunes to classic rock & roll, the boys and girls of Glee really can put on a performance. But it’s not convincing on that million-dollar stage. They come across as trying too hard with their exaggerated facial expressions and hip posturings, the soaring voices ranges. They’ve clearly been coached. The singing is just too finely polished. The dance numbers are too excruciatingly choreographed. No high school kids can put on these sorts of shows at the spur of a moment. These things require years of gut-wrenching training.

Ultimately, these ad hoc songfests give children a very false impression about talent and success. They are led to believe if they just spin around and shout, they’re creating world-class music. They are led to believe we live in a world where anybody and everybody can succeed as long as they have heart. But this is far from true. Some people are born with the vocal chords for music, others have the bodies for football and others have the brains for math. That is reality. But this show is a drug of false expectations that will inevitably harm our children. It convinces impressionable teens to avoid serious career training in favor of having “fun” in the “arts.” Also, the music numbers just drag down the plot of the show.
On a related note, Glee’s actors constantly make the argument that excelling at athletics does not contribute anything to the college application process. They posit the theory that a singing club will make you more likely to get into Ohio State or Princeton. This is false and it’s reckless for the creators of this show to promote such disinformation. Athletics have been a proven stepping-stone for academic and business success for over a century. The number of athletes who have gone on to full scholarships at the very best universities in this country are legion and legendary. Nothing even close could be said of a minor high school singing club. If children take this belief to heart, it could wind up seriously hurting their chances of college survival as well as their health (sports are essential for keeping fit, strong and attractive!).
Another major fault with the show is its fawning celebration of teenage homosexuality and consumer indulgence. Again the show makes the case that accepting the gay lifestyle and making yourself as outrageous as possible will help you achieve something despite whatever social limitations you may have. Disregarding any sense of fair play, the show does not offer any alternative to the gay lifestyle argument. There are no teens cured of their relentless and wild male sex desires, there are no moral figures on hand to give a comforting hand, there are no popular boys who say, “I don’t want to hurt my family anymore and I love Jesus, so I am going to stop doing gay things with guys in the bathroom.”


THE GOLDEN GIRLS CONNECTION

Recently, I wrote about studies that revealed the dangerous influence that the 1980s tv show “The Golden Girls” had on American men now in their 30s, 40s and 50s (see “The Golden Girls: How One TV Show Turned A Generation Of American Boys Into Homosexuals”). The link between watching the Girls and increased risks of homosexual behavior was made abundantly meaningful. In a nutshell, the Golden Girls turned a generation away from procreation. It made our American boys into the most raunchy, campy, carnal people on the planet. If, as a society, we could have returned to the 80s with what we know now and stop that show, American culture might be drastically different today.

As I write about Glee now in 2010, I can’t help but think that America is on the threshold of another dramatic cultural shift. If we let this show continue, our children will find a way to watch it. It is a drug that is that addictive. If our children continue to watch, they will undoubtedly be influenced by its radical same-sex messages. A generation from now, when these children become adults, what kind of country will the United States be? How many middle-aged men will find themselves in a dead-end Glee-based lifestyle? Will they be ostentatious and sensitive, their dreams smashed up against a wall crying out to have that giant hole in their souls stuffed with some musky foreign thrill? Will they be violating what’s left of our traditional cultural landscape with unimaginable high-tech perversions, drenching, nay drowing the bright young men of tomorrow in their relentless sauces of net porn and showtunes, maximized liberties and stem-cell party drugs? Will male sports just become an excuse for gay locker room orgies? How long until these types also legislate to destroy the beauty of marriage, the safety of religion, the rights of the righteous? Look into the eyes of a young Kurt Hummel. Is that not the face our of future’s polymorphously perverse intellectual terrorist? Change the channel my friends. Change the channel and change the world!

PARENT’S GUIDE TO THE CAST OF GLEE

• Football Player Finn: An implausible character who goes both ways– glee club geek and handsome football star. He reminds one of the old lady Sophia on The Golden Girls– a bit of a cute, befuddled sidekick with some comic lines, but not a central character in the best scenes on the show. I truly feel for the actor who performs this poorly-written role, though I do enjoy his deft moves on the football field.
• Sue the Cheerleading Coach: Her acting comes across as pretentious and egomaniacal and possibly too masculine (is this intentional?). Tone it down a bit, that’s my advice. Bea Arthur of The Golden Girls has already done everything and anything you could possibly imagine doing in your career, Sue.
• Jewish Rachel: This girl is beautiful (and 30). I don’t understand why she’s playing like she’s ugly and unpopular! When gay people write tv dramas they often have no clue about what real women are like.
• Artie, Wheelchair: I don’t believe he sings. The lip-synching is frighteningly obvious and a sad footnote to this show. Couldn’t they have gotten an actual talented singer for this role? Plus, he needs a sidekick or a funny catchphrase.
• Mercedes Jones: Her sassy attitude does not set the right example for today’s young girls. She does sing well, and I appreciate that but I really don’t think this show is the right fit for her career. She really sticks out like a sore thumb. I could see her in a church choir, however. Or maybe play the wheelchair role?
• Quinn, Slutty Cheerleader: She is most definitely the “Blanche Devereaux” of Glee.
• Gay Kurt Hummel: I am afraid the makers of this show have dangerously indulged this young man’s fetish for expensive outfits. Children watching may be tempted to experiment with similar radical wardrobe choices. Why is everything he wears so bright and tight? Are we supposed to guess at the source of his income for such extravagance? Why did he quit football team? Will the writers of this show actually force him to do an on-air homosexual kiss or even worse? Sadly, with his clothing obsession and sassy attitude, Kurt Hummel may be destined to become this generation’s Betty White.
• Football Coach: Is it really necessary to have a man his age in such small shorts so often? Is this supposed to be funny?
• Will Schuster, Head of Glee Club: This effeminate charlatan is a surprising choice for the horndog adulterer. For many adults, he is not convincing in the least. Personally, I do not believe in having homosexual educators (or adult actors, for that matter) in such intimate, private contact with young people. Please, we do not need to see any more half-hearted and frankly laughable sex scenes involving this wet noodle.
• Victor Matlin: I really don’t know why he is on this show. He was in Titanic! I find the hugging with his son unseemly.

FRL! Article

Pukin' Like a Pro - Darlene McCoy

Dear Freshmen:
Now that you've survived a quarter at UCSC, you've probably realized that parties happen, so puke happens - a lot. In light of these facts, the FRL! has put together a small guide on how to Puke Like a Pro.
Pre-Game: Eat Gogurt. All kinds, all colors. The brighter the colors, the better. Also try some rice -- with this small addition, you can create a trail of slime covered fruity pebbles. If you don't have any Gogurt on hand, the dining halls always provide something of an odd color or texture, too. (I'm looking at you, avocado-flavored soft serve.) Eat as much of whatever you can possibly fit into your mouth. The noms, they shall be so intense.
Once drunk off your ass: Start vomiting spontaneously. Don't stop. If your chunks are projectile, the deeper angle you get, the better. It creates more of a fantastic spectacle, especially if you ate the colored yogurt, you're a vomit rainbow! Beautiful. Continue to erupt: evolve into a vomit volcano, let your regugitated rainbow mush rain fire on the awaiting Pompeii. Toss yo' cookies, toss 'em over everything, everywhere. Take special interest in the furniture, especially, because the smell will seep into the fabric, causing its owners to remember you and your vomit time and time again. They'll never forget you. If you're feeling creative, spewing a smiley face, heart, or any shape of your choice on the window might be a nice touch. By this time, all eyes will be on you. Don't let them make you nervous. You are a champion, a performer, and this is your show. They are staring because they are mesmerized by your skill. Bonus points if you manage to puke on one of them. Friends love to be vomited upon -- the two of you will be even closer in the morning. They might even start vomiting. If they do, make sure to grab them and position them so you're back to back. Tilt your head a bit to get that deep angle that allows vomit to be so round. First you were a vomit rainbow, and now, with the addition of your friend, you're a heart of hurl! It's been said, by a very wise old man, known only as Mr. Daniels, that friends who puke together, stay together. So, after choosing your best friend for life and the rest of ever, fall down, to all fours, and flip your hair whilst continuing to vomit. Crawl, leaving a trail behind you, toward the restroom. When you arrive, give the toilet a hug. Toilets are lonely, they need love too! Then puke on it. On the toilet, not in it, mind you. Someone might be lucky enough to discover your present later! How sweet! If you are still feeling nervous, or a hint of stage fright is creepin' on your soul, now is a good time to talk to the toilet -- it is the only one that understands how you're feeling. Let all your stress go, cry into its arms if you need to, a toilet is always there. After recovering -- if needed, that is, you might just be the best damned puker on the planet - wipe any excess off your face. Good job and well done, you mighty pukester, you!
Exiting Stage Left (or Right): after finishing up, bring yourself to your feet, and prepare for the grand finale! Sprint, as fast as humanly possible, (which should be quite fast at this point) toward the exit. If you're an advanced drunkard: falling, tripping, and running into walls is recommended for additional artistic effect. Once at the door, swing it open with all your might. Expel yourself through it, vomit yourself through that door, because tonight, you have achieved victory. Continue on your path to the bus stop (drunk driving is bad, you asshole!), leaving sparatic trail of regurgitate along the way. Don't make them even -- you don't want any CSOs on your ass -- or thinking that all that vomit came from one motherfuckin' pukin' champion. Once the bus arrives, make your way to the back, where the row of five seats are, and bring up a small mountain upon the center one. Proceed to not give a fuck, and sit upon your throne. Gaze upon your subjects; note their mystified faces. Finally get to wherever the hell you live, stumble indoors, and take your pants off. (You just sat in vomit for a bus ride, remember? No? Good.) Then, dear champion, you deserve some rest. Pull yourself into bed, close your eyes, and drift off into a world of your own. You have done well, young padawan.

It Was Stuck in Riley's Head, and Then Mine:

Some pretty intense luls, if I do say so myself!

The little girl is so cute... XD

Random .gifs II

WHAT IS THIS GAME?!

The "That's What She Said," it is so intense.

http://www.dorkly.com/video/2956/most-sexual-innuendos-ever?ref=nf

My Dreams

...are hella weird.

But I usually forget them too quickly to type 'em out.

Last night I dreamed that myself, Cindy, Katie Butler, and Ruby were on a weird form of Big Brother, and that the world was more than likely in the midst of a nuclear war.

I remember sitting down in this, like, old abandoned bus station type thing, trying to plan out an alliance between us four because we all knew each other but nobody else knew!

WTF?

Mooski #6 Boombox - The Lonely Island ft. Julian Casablancas

You need to see this. Just sayin. Doesn't matter who you are. Just watch. Same guys who did "I'm on a Boat."

FUCKING RIDICULOUS CLIFFHANGERS

GAAAAAHHHH OMG WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO THE DOCTOR AND AMY!!

WHY IS THERE ANOTHER WEEK TO WAIT!!

I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE WATCHED THE FIRST PART OF THE FINALE TONIGHT!!

SHOULD HAVE JUST WAITED TWO WEEKS AND WATCHED THEM BOTH IN SUCCESSION!!

DAMN YOU STEVEN MOFFAT!!

MY BRAIN... IS GOING TO EXPLODE!!

AND I'D SAY A WHOLE LOT MORE, BUT HOLY MOTHER FUCK, SPOILERS!!

GAHHHHHH!! AIYEEEEEEEE!! O:

Virgins: What the Fuck Do you Do?

Virgins in this day and age are quite the interesting creatures. Two types of virgins attempt to drown their misery in whatever fashion they can: there's the innocent, pink-cheeked crazy fucks who are, "Saving themselves for Jesus," and the poor bastards who have just yet to experience the utter joy that is being laid. Now-- I've always wondered what these people to do relieve themselves of their sexual frustrations.
I decided to start my investigation at Merrill College, better know to the UCSC community as "Sterile Merrill." I figured that I'd find a plethora of juicy virgins to satisfy my needs there.
Because physically moving is rather inconvenient, I decided to reward myself with a small meal at Tacos Morenos (the actual only legitimate reason for trekking up Cardiac Hill in the first place), which lead me to my first victim of the day. As I ordered my breakfast burrito, 'cause breakfast is always legit, I "bumped" into a resident of Merrill College and then started my investigation.
Our conversation, to the best of my recollection, went something like this:
"Hello, kind sir, and good day to you, I'm a member of the Fish Rap Live! Staff and I've got a few questions to ask, would you mind having a short conversation with me?"
He obliged, and we sat down at a nearby table.
"Sir, have you experienced the splendor that is sexual intercourse?"
I, of course, was actually that polite.
The Merrillite just stared at me with wide, blank eyes - I don't know if it was because I'd been so blunt (LOLWEED) or if it was the fact that my hand was ever creeping toward his genitalia (LOLDICKS), but he was quite startled.
His eyes sparkled, I think from terror, then he glanced my way for a split second, then almost inaudibly muttered a "Yes." He then stood up, and briskly walked away. I guess he was one of those "Saving myself for Jesus" types.
Anyway - besides the fact that the Merrillite was a-shakin' in his booties, I had picked up on the fact that he smelt like a dead wet dog, which I found rather peculiar, since he looked clean.
I strolled over to one of Merrill's dormitories and entered what I thought would be a rather normal place (it is Merrill after all.) My nose nearly exploded, and my poor abused nostrils begged me, on their knees (LOLBLOWJOBS) if they had them, to leave that foul-smelling world. I was subdued by my nose, and turned right the fuck around.
After wasting some time being completely lost around Merrill, I found myself at the housing office. I'd decided that the people in there might know why the hell the place smelt that bad.
They told me that they had no definite answer, but that recently the vacuums had been breaking down nearly every night. They had kept getting clogged, which caused them to blow circuits, and then, when pulled they'd leak a milky off-white substance, which conveniently left little race tracks of white goop around the dorm.
When I asked them if they had investigated, they told me that they were not paid to enter the land of a college dorm.
Their words may have also been, "Fuck that shit."
I decided that I needed to return to Porter to borrow a few "investigative tools" from a fellow Fish Rapper. I explained to him my predicament, and he promptly lent me his tools - Ganja, Smokey, and Chronic.
Mice equipped with video cameras are quite useful things.
I took my tools up that God-forsaken hill and let them loose.
I then proceeded to go back to Porter and do what we do best: smoke hella weed.
The next morning (2 PM), I rolled out of bed to view what my fabulous little detectives had found for me, and oh, the shock, the horror, and the luls, they were so intense.
Those little mice had discovered what the fuck was up with Merrill--
Dear readers of FRL!:
The virgins of Merrill College have been using the vacuums to relieve themselves of sexual frustrations.
The reason why the vacuums were clogged?
Some crazy fuck decided putting the vacuum on full power was a good idea, and now he doesn't have to "trim the forest" for a month.
The reason a milky off-white substance leaks from the vacuums?
Oh, I think you know.
(In case you're minorly retarded, it's jizz!)
Now, the reason why Merrill radiates a toxic stench?
Crazy virgins have been jacking off into vacuums, and then other residents, unaware of the situation, have been dragging jizz leaking vacuums around the entire dorm. And they can't clean it up because the vacuums don't work.
I suppose that this investigation has answered my original question of what do virgins do to get off, but it has only lead me to another, an all encompassing question to be asked for all eternity:
What the fuck is up with Merrill?

VACUUMS!

What are the vacuums around campus always broken or malfunctioning?

'Cause crazy horny virgins are jackin' them off at night!

♥ ♥ ♥

WHAT?!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Oh Right--

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from ADD Love~!

GOOD FREAKIN' LORD

I was looking for some cute Christmas picture to post here

...and I found this

FML. So much FML.

...then I found this!

and promptly posted it to Allyson's wall on Facebook! ahahahah XD

NOW! For my Merry Christmas-ness


I approve.

A Much Needed Improvement!

If you hadn't noticed, I've been a little down lately.

A little.

DOOOOOOOOOOOOWN!

↓

But today

was a pretty good day

it was a day of hope!

OF HOPE~!

Oh baby.

So like, things have been kind of awkward with my friends in French class

which I so originally name my Frenchies

See, I met these two kids this year

Kenny & Martin

They're wonderful

They're funny

and every once in a while, they're a little gay.

But I love them for it... they're so fun!

ANYWAY

There was some stuff that went down the other weekend

That made things a little weird...

I wasn't getting as many hugs :(

There wasn't as many laughs

It made me sad, 'cause the Frenchies are what I look forward to the most in French...

but today everything seemed normal again..! :]

Really lifted my mood, 'cause I was worrying that things wouldn't be the same again between all of us...

and that'd be super lame.

I really want to go to Junior Prom with these two... so I can obviously hang out and have a great time

but also!

My friend, Anthony,
has a DATE!

OH MY GOD. WHAT?!

I totally gotta go check on him..

Ironic thing is his date is Kenny's ex-girlfriend, Kaylin.

OH SHIT, SONN.

If I go, it'll be a night to remember.

Now I just gotta see if they'll take me... har har har

After school Anthony & Ricky came over.

Ricky "usurped my throne."

You don't even wanna know what that means!

...it isn't anything sexual.
dude, I don't even know how you could make it that way, anyway.

But a general disclaimer is good, oui?

OUI.

Anyway, today was just nice and relaxing.

Didn't really worry about things today.

Kind of made me feel better.

Kind of.

I love long blogs about nothing.

They're awesome.

Fo'sho.

O M G . . . !

Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.


I feel really good right now.
Total peace out, girl scout.