SO MUCH ANGST

So......

hi blog.

Sure haven't posted anything significant for a while...

News: done with first year of college.
Other news: God damn my life is aggravating.

This thing... the menu thing for Stranger than Fiction (good movie, btw) keeps playing and playing and playing and playing and I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. Except I do. But I don't want to move. I want to keep writing. What the hell is the point of moving, anyway? God I hate moving. I hate doing things. I have to think, and good lord I would be ecstatic to be out of my head for merely an hour. I also wish I could spell. GAAAHHH! GAH GAH GAH. I want to live in SoCal, I want more! ALWAYS MORE. Am I just a person who cannot be satisfied? I don't really want to live in SoCal. Fuck SoCal. Except the Lakers have cool colors, but man, silver and purple are so pretty together. Meh. I don't really care about basketball at all, anyway. I just enjoy doing things with friends, and y'know, if it means cheering for a team I could not give two shits (TWO SHITS! or would that be a half a shit, to make it less significant?) about, hell man, I'm there. I like to see people smile. A lot. I love to see people happy, I love to see them enjoying their lives, but I feel like that is all there is to life for me. I haven't basked in the awesome warmth that is happiness in a long time. Well, that's a lie. I was really happy when Mark gave me a hug when I asked for one. But that happiness was pretty much completely trampled upon by his and Allyson's act of totally ignoring me (Fuck that shit, btw, I had never felt so God damn abandoned in a long time). I wonder if either of them read this. God I miss Mark. I miss him being my friend, and not some person I have to worry about all the time (Y'know, when I'm around, this is kind of irrelevant now, and this is also inserted to make me seem less creepy. 'Cause I'm not that creepy, really.). Can we just go back, please? That's all I want. A friend. Well, I have Cindy here, but yeah, at college, I am miserable, I am so alone. I spend my time with Doctor Who. (Not that that is too much of an issue, 'cause good lord David Tennant is HOT) BUT GAH! My happiness comes from my fantasies, and not my own life. How do I create happiness? How does it happen? I was happy before? Can I be ignorant again? It seems that while I was, I was happy, I was content, I did not give a fuck. Man, I miss Ryan too. OH! Ryan. Ryan = best friend at college, by a long shot. But you see, while I have him, it's just... not the same. Y'know, person reading this? Ryan has Brytnny. I cannot, and will not, ever try to be more to him than she is (as in closeness, in case you're reading! :]), because that's just wrong, and I understand that and I'm good with that. I love that me and Ryan are friends. It's just... I get lonely. I get the type of lonely that I feel only like, love can cure. Maybe that's the thing with Cindy too. Maybe that's why where ever I go, I'm alone. I miss waking up everyday, with someone on my mind. Nowdays, all I can do is observe. I'm too holed up, too reserved, too shy to do a damned thing, or merely mention to anyone that I might slightly be interested. I just don't know. And now, here at home, I had so much hope for a friendship that I thought could possibly work again, but as the days drag on, my hope dwindles and dwindles. It's fucking impossible. Stupid happiness. I always think, should I have given him up? Heh. Except there's two "hims." Interesting fucking plot twist, assholes. Hehe. Always wanted to type that. Menu. Still. Going. Wonder how long I've been typing. Prolly not that long. Doesn't seem too long. Been texting Jacob in between. I need to do this more often. It's relaxing. I'm thinking about writing about how I feel about B5. Oh yes, dear reader, since I don't have to see faces for 3 months, and furthermore, prolly don't have to see any faces I don't want to more than random coincidence next year, fuck this shit. Fuck it in the butt. Butt butt. Christ. I'm so upset. I kind of hate everything B5 embodies. We came together to give everyone a home, to not judge, to be friendly, and care for each other. The only damned thing we accomplished was we became a family. A family with ups and downs, and aunts and uncles, and crazy people. (I don't know who out aunts and uncles would be, btw!) And like my family, we've got people that just resent each other. And until a while ago, that resentment was one sided. BUT HEY WORLD, GUESS WHAT, I'M A BITCH, I'VE GOT FEELINGS, AND I AM MOTHERFUCKING HUMAN, AND WILL BE TREATED ACCORDINGLY. Lord I am so angry right now. Sitting here like a true freaking writer. In complete silence (except for that damned menu thing - ironic the movie is about writing... kinda... whatever) Guess it's not complete silence but whatever. Urg. Shit I say should make sense. I think I consider this silence because it's like, a 30 second clip? Maybe not even that - on repeat. The noise is irrelevant to my thought, and stuff, so I guess I am considering it silence. Maybe this is why I can work well even where there is noise. I just ignore it. Holy shit on a stick I digress like a crazy soooon of a bitch! Hm. I'd like to meet a crazy son of a bitch. Might be my type. Durrrr. Durrr. Dylan. I love Dylan. He's such a sweetheart. And Rebecca. I'm sure she's taking very very good care of Smokey. Wish I could've seen her more. Such a cute mouse. I was totally prepared to take care of her, and I don't consider myself excused from faltering in her care because of Allyson's resentment of me. Should of just grew a God damned pair and shown the world, not even the world, 'cause like hell B5 is the world, that I am a person who is to be respected. Just because I'm ditsy and blonde doesn't mean that I do not think. It does not mean that I don't notice things. That I'm just a dumb clown. Those who believe I am have just not yet known the person I am. It's not like it's really all that easy to get to know me anyway,(unless you read this!) because I'm just bad at communicating. Bad at communicating. Such a God damned stupid awful phrase and excuse. I'm not even trying to be discreet. Thinking that your issues are above everyone else's in the world. Hi, you're just about the most conceited person I've ever met. I'm not going to say my shit is more terrible, less terrible, or equally terrible than yours, girlie, but darlin', for you to be so damned selfish and not think of ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD WHO ARE CURRENTLY DYING makes me sick to my stomach. Fucking shit dude. I'm enjoying this wall of text. It's making me happy. I am venting. Yet, there is no expression on my face. No tears. No expressed anger. Just me, sitting here, typing, typing away. Typing away two quarters of pain misery sorrow and loneliness. Fuck being lonely. I don't want to guys to pick on Ryan for being not-so-great at DotA. Who the fuck cares about DotA? Nobody should get hurt over stupid, stupid games. Games are for fun, and enjoyment. It's cool to compete, but once the competition is over, it's over you fucks. Urg Urg Urg Blarg Blarg Blarg. I really hope Kendal reads this. I love her to death, and I've got to say some things to her, as well. Not bad things. Because I love Kendal. Just... things. Hopefully I'll write about them now. This is a very, very, very honest Darlene, and this is not a drunk Darlene, which means time for rantin', ravin', and all around insane stream-of-consciousness stuff. HEY, I CAN'T FUCKIN' STAND YOU, LOL! Yep. That was the next thing on my mind. So much pent up rage, so much pent up anger. But I'm a God damned coward, and I don't like conflict. I can't deal with it, because it's so damn pointless. At least, like this, I won't really have to deal with anything more than I would have to already. Good fucking times, people. Man I like to curse. Fucking has def got to be one of my favorite words. How can you get more intense than fucking? It's natural human instinct. Raw, vulgar, and there for everyone to see! YEAAAHHH FUCKING. Such a good word. Hehe. Always wanted to type that too. I feel like if Jacob reads this he'll enjoy that line. Oh YEAH! Fucking. Hehe. Fucking. Someone hasn't done it yeeeeeeet and has been lying about it since sophomore yeaaaaar! Hella. Days. Funny. So funny. Thank you, Alex. Teehee. Got a school girl thing goin' on today; it's pretty cute. Reminds me of fucking. Girrrrl, you make me rage. Maybe more than Ella did. Ella. Heh. Can't remember his real name. Damned stupid heartless bastard. GRRR! I feel like it was Andrew. But I love Andrew. Oh. I've got to see Andrew. Maybe you're lost? It's okay, 'cause I'm lost too darlin'. Darling Darlene, thank you Brytnny, you are such a sweet heart. I meant everything I wrote in your yearbook! ♥ Hearts hearts hearts. I want mine to flutter again, mother fuck. FLUTTTEEER. Also a very good word. Maybe that's why I enjoy Joyce Carol Oates so much. She freaking gets it. Holy hell don't know how long it's been since I've written this much. I should really move on to Kendal. Kendal Kendal. God I love the KendalKorn. Looks cool with the "K" too! Okay, so first things first: Logan. He told me he liked you, I was like, d'awww, good luck bro! And I know, KendalKorn, sweet sweet KendalKorn (not meant to be creepy, btw!) that your only experience with friends and guys in the same boat is "HOMYGODIHATEYOUFOREVERDIEBITCHDIERAGGGEEE" annnnnnnd that's not really such a good thing. Now, when I learned that you actually liked him back, I tripped so many balls. The balls of my balls were trippin', and they were trippin' hard. I was SO FREAKING EXCITED for you, darlin'. So he didn't like me. Oh well. Got over it. So he liked you. COOL MY FRIEND CAN BE REALLY HAPPY. That's how it's supposed to work. Friends are supposed to stay friends. They're not supposed to got bat shit insane because of men. Especially men who aren't worth it. Meh, that's kind of mean, but that's what needed to be said (typed?) there. He's not a bad guy; just doesn't realize when he's being a douche bag. Douche. French. God I envy Julia for getting into French 5. So much that I didn't congratulate her. Man, I suck. Stupid envy. Haha. I'm sure she knows that I think that's awesome. Or I hope that she is reading this now and is like, "HEY, DARLENE LOVES ME!" 'cause I most def do. I just want to be further in French, too! Fuck the stupid passe compose. Fuck accents, as well. Fuck them all. DURRRR. Okay, so, got to finish with Kendal. Whenever I see you Kendal, well, actually, only when Allyson is around, I see this sadness in your eyes. Maybe it's just because I'm insane, but I feel, and have felt, for a very long time, that our friendship is totally different when she is around, and when she is not around. Because when Allyson is around, you're not allowed to show hardly any interest in me, except for purposes of common decency. I feel that you are being bogged down, and judged, and somehow, you can't bring yourself to escape that. It's not so bad though, def not as bad as Mark, who has now shown me how much he can just follow someone. Someone who I honestly believe does not care about him as much as he thinks. It makes me sad. So sad. Here I am, like, four to five months later, still being sad about Mark. He's such a good guy. So confused. So awkward. Haha. I wasn't exactly the best of friend, but I def wasn't a terrible one, and if I was, I tried my best to reprimand everything I could. Sometimes, I am stupid. You don't think one day she'll do something incredibly stupid? Or that one day you'll do something she doesn't approve of, and she'll drop you like last night's dinner? God I'm just so sad. And all of this is so past overdue. Finally turned the sound off. Now there's just that picture playing in my peripheral vision. My vision that is pretty much nonexistent. Maybe it's the glare of the TV that makes me pay so much attention. Ugh. Just so much ugh. I hate texting. I hate it. So so sad. So pitiful. So distraught. So many bad thoughts in my mind. I need a vacation from life. I want to go back to Nebraska... should have never given all of that up... I had everything... I had ever wanted... and I just wanted more, because I'm never satisfied. Maybe he was the love of my life, and I gave it up for my dreams. For me. Dreams. Selfishness. Ug. FUCKING STOP TEXTING ME HOLY SHIT. So clueless. Just stop. Stop stop stop. Stoooooooooop. Sad sad sad. Nebraska. Greg. Two things I think about all the damn time. Most of the world doesn't even know about Nebraska. Greg never knew a damn thing. Ever. Heh. Hope he's happy with Kim... though as far as Alex is concerned his life seems pretty damn dull. Except for the Disneyland business. That's pretty cool. God I miss Disneyland and Orchestra and life being okay. Man I can't wait for Distant Worlds, either. It's going to be excellent. I think I'm tired now. So tired. Didn't say as much as I wanted to... but that's the norm. Always is. That's why it's the norm. Dur. Dur. Dur. Durr Gil-Gomez! Haha. Hehe. Ohohohoho~!

Someone needs to come into my life.

End of Orchestra...

Last day of Orchestra was yesterday...

it was a fairly fun day...

Fun Awards were fun...

Friendliest, Most likely to move the farthest away from home, BEST Senior Girl (take that Sarah!! >:]) /

Yeaaaaaah, boy.

Then Senior speeches afterward... which was like all of us trying to talk at once, lol

and Stephen... telling the Freshman not to do drugs like 5 times

MarkandStephen.com! (Yes, it's a real site, no, I've never been to it, and don't plan on it)

Then the Simmies... gives us his advice...

1. Don't get preggo early
2. Don't fall in love too early
3. Have fun
4. Actually do something with your life
5. Always cherish music!

Yay...

But like... then he went on a tangent, of course,
and he just like said,

"Look around guys, 'cause this is the last time you'll be my students... take the room in."

and we all just started ballin' like babies XD

Least, we felt like it, and oh man, that was one of the saddest things ever,

I absolutely adore Orchestra... it means everything to me...

Now it's like, gone...

Sometimes, time is too short...

Today I go to school for two hours... to do nothing...

Why? 'Cause it's probably the last time I'll ever see some of those people

Do I exceptionally care? Not really.

Does it make me feel a little better? Yeah.

I just can't believe this is the end... there's so much to miss...

but oh man, have I mentioned UCSC?

The like, best school in the world?

Oh, okay!

That makes up for any sadness for leaving CHS behind...

But it might take a little bit to get used to it... :(

The delicious food may help :3

Orchestra BBQ...

The last one...

:(... so much sadpanda...

Orchestra is like my life man...

...and it's over...

...

maybe I'm being emotional, but man

9 years... and it's all like over now...

wooow, what the hell!

Was pretty fun either way, 'cept my favorite band kid wasn't there

bastard is out camping, of course...

of course!

The Orchestra gave Mr. Sims a one-of-a-kind amazing special present this year

it was a handmade quilt,

with wonderful things for him to remember us by...

and

a picture, all signed by us,

duh.

Except,

the evil one, known as Sarah David

known to my Freshman as Sarah Devil~

picked the worst picture of me, ever

'cause my face looks all retarded ._.

man, she makes my blood boil!

/simmer

but in the end, who cares?

Simmies is happy, I am happy

and I am so sad.

so, so sad.

:(

I love music... most wonderful thing in the world...

Last Concert... Prolly Ever...

IT WENT WELL, HO MY GOD~!

Like if you were to give us a % chance of failing

it'd be at least 75%

and we didn't fail!

SO AMAZING!

We've had our songs for like

maybe 2-3 weeks? Only played through 'em a couple of times

...which is not good

'cause our second violins may or may not know how to play
...or even count to 4 for that matter

Funny how much simple math is important!

Sims... I'm gonna miss the Simmies... :(

He wished us luck after high school
and hoped we'd fly on the wings of Pegasus~

Way to be a dork, Sims...

He's gonna be so happy Friday, when we give him the best Senior gift ever!

And man... no more Orchestra... my life is over dude D:

KilyeRant

Not about Ellatrix... for once :]

Though he is an asshole, always and forever!

THE SPIRT OF ADD WHM HOMYGOD XD XD !

'kay, done.

...with that part

SO last night was Awards Night at school, right?

Awards for people who do things that are good, scholarships etc?

RIGHT?!

Not for people who kiss so much ass their noses are literally red because they've gone into the digestive system?

Oh no, you'd be wrong~!

It's a sad damn thing when people who can't even play a Violin get an Orchetra award over people who can play a Viola (not me here XD) or a Cello much, much better and who may actually even continue on playing in college.

WHAT A FREAKIN' CONCEPT!

I'm very dissapointed in my teacher's decision.

Like frsrsly, angry.

Grrr D:

Our Valedictorian is also about as fake as they come, freakin' lame, but I don't care too much on that one.

...not too much.

The Saluditorian is my BFF, I ♥ him.

Anyway, the pure irony of the world cracks me up, 'cause we were talking about no matter how hard you work, the person kissing ass is always going to be one step ahead of you.

I can't remember if it was in Hamlet, or in Arellano's class, but oh the irony, oh the drama...

I guess I just sit here and wish and hope that someday hard work will be rewarded... and those with brown noses can be where they belong, in the dumpster with the rest of the garbage...

It'll be funny when they step out into the real world and realize that your boss doesn't give a crap if you gave him a framed picture of yourself, he just wants the job done.

(Giving a framed picture of yourself to your boss is creepy btw)

Wooow... :O

EndRant /

StartGood

Yay I got a French Award!
...and the pity Orchestra Award ._.

le sigh.

April Full's Day!

Fun fun fun, but not as fun as March Madness

Sold churros this time... "Get a Chubby Today!"

Too bad Sims had to blank that out for our fliers

damn stupid school censorship and decency and crap!

Had to chop lettuce with Basses (is this spelt right?!) today

They sort of hate me

...and had very sharp knives D:

so that was a little scary... a little!

made about $100 (for orchestra) and got a free churro out of it

That's cool?

AFK 3 Days!

I been sick, took a break from LIFE!

Festival this morning for orchestra... if the 2nds blow it again... good God will there be hell to pay...

Thee 31st of Jan!

What a wonderful, amazing, marathon of a day. :]

Woke up at 6... Ruby picked me up at like 6:55... (20 mins before I was expecting her!)
went and got Lidia...
went and got Ben & Breanna...
...went and got Rachel...

Ruby's car only holds 5 people... generally...

there was 4 of us in the back... it's a good thing I like all my friends or I'd of been very, very, uncomfortable...

we arrived at Safeway to get some index cards... and some Starbucks of course

Vanilla Bean, yummm!

btw - drinking cold things in the morning is not a good idea...
but nevertheless, so tasty!

We got to the courthouse at around... 7:50?

...and had to stand out in the cold until 8:00 when they finally let us in!

Found out defense was going first... (me!)

We were up against Florin... I think we killed them, to be honest!

I got all of my testimony right :] and I didn't giggle!

Rachel was killing people with insane objections... the judge called her a Bulldog XD

intense!

Ruby "knocked the judge's socks off"

She did amazing... her closing was just like BAM!

Yaaay, good job, totally rocked that!

Then we went out to eat at this amazing little resturant called Hamburger Patty's

I know, weird name, but oh my God the food was sooo amazing...

I had a burger smothered in Teriyaki... it came with a knife in it o,o

!!!

Mr. Manch's brother owns the resturant, so we ate a like... $80-100 meal for $50...

and then Mr. Manch just paid for it...

Free amazing food... is the best thing in the world...

Manch is so awesome!

Anyway, we got back to the courthouse around 12:35

...we got lost on the way back... <.> ...

Prosecution's turn!

Since our other attorney for that side couldn't make it, Amanda, our beast attorney had to do the case all by herself...

which, she kind of did, anyway, considering she wrote the whole thing and the other attorney was basically just reading crap off

Think we did better without the other girl!

Well, we were up against El Camino... and we got the judge from hell

Sure, he was great for educational purposes...

...if you wanted to sit there and listen to him for like 4 hours

...as the jury

...

Well, we destroyed El Camino

Amanda got like... at least 50% of their testimoney striken from the record...

and the other 50% they had was just horrid, anyway

along with their opening and closing statements...?

Their defandant freakin' fell asleep!

and their Pre-Trial Attorney...

They weren't dressed right... didn't adress the court right... I mean wow

I didn't know there was a school out there that we would look amazing against XD

So anyway, Mock Trial didn't end until about 3:45...

I had to be at home at 4 PM...?

WHAT?!

Mock Trial was supposed to end at about 2:30...

okay...

It takes about 20 mins to get back home from downtown

Nevermind the fact that we had to drop Ben off at his dad's...

I didn't get home 'til about 4:30...

...and I found nobody at my house ready to pratice

save my BFF cello, Stephen

so that was sort of, um, useless?

We went to the school around 5, because the rest of the group showed up there.

Praticed for maybe 30 mins XD people were whining it was too cold...

I like them otherwise I would have made them stay outside...

We had timing problems, and for some reason it was really hard to hear me...

but! we pulled it off...

I think the show was a success, but there was less people there than at an orchestra concert...

My friend James gave me a giant plate of spaghetti and some apple pie...

being friends with people in the cooking academy is always a good idea!

Finally got home at about 8 PM...

14 hour day... wooow...

so long, but it was really rewarding and I felt pretty good about it all...

now it's 7 AM the next day!

...and I gotta do some homework and head off to Santa Cruz :]!!

GO SLUUGS!

& buy Marron Glace, please?

Horray for Being Back!

I loved killin' Medusa with Tek!

Arianna is beast RDM...!
& Vry's Pumpkin Hat is almost as cool as my Dream Hat :]

Supersupersupersuper fun!

They work really well together... and nobody yells or freaks out... it's so nice...

Poor Calvin and Ari were DCing for half the fight, too XD (both the RDM!)

I personally love running giant ass BLM lamia around... anything out of the ordinary for WHM is funn... and Barspells rule!

...and I thought I was going to be able to be lazy.

lol.


I also love doing Salvage with Tek!

Nobody goes batshit crazy when stuff goes wrong... so... it's... like... relaxing...? WHAT?!

The people are so nice... they make me smile...

Screw hats not dropping in Pago last night... no RDM hat there sucks so bad... :(

I'd like to do a little more Salvage... like side runs like I used to... with the BFFs and all; but too lazy to organize anything or lead anything with all the junk going on in the actual life right now...

I only really know some of 'em anyway... I'd need to look stuff up and remember the runs before I could do anything... and no comp right next to me sucks...

In the real world! Stupid Mock Trial is driving me insane.

Stupid Crab Feed is too! It's this weekend, hope I can go!

So much stuff to do...

So many things to think about...

One really important decision! reallyreallyreally

Fishing is wonderful and relaxing... so nice... it is good for reflection, too!

and Trey is a punk :]

...but he is awesome... fo' sho.

omgomgomgomgomgomg!! :]!

CONCERT FOR ORCHESTRA WAS AWESOME!

Viva Violas~!

We didn't screw up... yay!

Finals start tomorrow... I'm a giant stress ball

But Mr. Sims gave us TWO full PIES!

Deliciousness

Yaaaaaaaaaaay :]

I also made a sort of "new" friend today...

Known for a while and been friends and all but more of friend-like... I dunno :D

Sweet girl... she is!

and I almost killed someone with my mouth >.> gotta say sorry tomorrow

Whoops...

Busy Busy...

Mon Giant Orchestra Concert
Tues Mock Trial & AP Gov HW
Weds Mock Trial & Christmas Party
Thurs nuffin hopefully...
Fri Mock Trial

Gotta fit in reading half a book, and an ensemble meeting in there too!

Good GOD I have no time this week... I just want to go back to sleep XD ...

I should really get my mules selling things again... hmmmm

Oh yeah! I got into CSUMB :] Horray for back up schools!

tired...

school been super busy this week....
mock trial, projects, orchestra stuff

its only weds...

I am going to die XD ...

Help Me Out!

College Admissions Essay.
If anybody even reads this blog, please leave a comment with suggestions on anything!
I am applying to UCSC (University of California, Santa Cruz) and I want my essay to be amazing!

Thanks!

:]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Everybody Needs a College Education

My name is Darlene McCoy and I play the viola. It is what I do, and who I am. A viola is a violin with a college education – it is simply something one cannot live without! The viola is like a violin, except it has different strings, is bigger; and its sound is deeper than the violin’s. I have been playing my reject of an instrument since the 4th grade, and ever since I started playing it, it has been a huge influence on my life. When I started playing under Mr. Kevin Sims though, the mere influence music had on my life grew to much more than just that. Being part of The Big Red Music Machine has been the most rewarding experience in my life. I have found a second family, our tradition of excellence is unparalleled in my eyes, and as a senior member of the orchestra this year, I plan to put the astounding amount of love I’ve matured toward making this year the best yet. I not only want to continue our tradition of excellence, but I want to do more.

The family I have found is not only within my own section, but in the orchestra as a whole. As the viola section, we take immense pride in being violas. We’re an uncommon instrument and usually are not recognized for being amazing players. This year, the violas hope to be the best section in the class. Our sectionals are so productive because we work so well together, respect each other, and help each other. I am the viola section’s mother. I take care of us. I make sure our baskets for various events are complete; I make sure our music is in the proper folder, and I help with just about everything in general. As a whole orchestra, my family could fill twenty pages of paper with wonderful experiences. We’ve gone on many trips together, and our bonds are so tight that when I walk into class, I don’t feel like I’m in school, I feel home. We even have Shoeless Friday, and Joke Wednesday! Even the freshmen this year are being incorporated, and are starting to feel those wonderful bonds. When I leave Cordova High, I believe I will be shedding many tears knowing that I will have to be away from my family. Mr. Sims is more than just a teacher to everybody in the orchestra, and to me, he seems more like a father, because I never really had one of my own, and I have learned so much from him in such a short time.

Music is something that allows one to put everything into what they are playing. Passion, rhythm, timing, and accuracy are all things one must have to play and play well. Just being in orchestra has taught me so much about perseverance and hard work. Everything about playing but the passion is hard for me. When Sims says give me emotion; I give him my fiercest anger, my most joyous happiness, or my most remorseful sadness, and when I can’t seem to make my fingers work to play a measure, I don’t stop. I sit there and work on that measure until it is right, because my family is counting on me to play that harmony. I put my heart and soul into everything I play could be the understatement of the year.

This year, I have put more effort into orchestra than ever. I have participated in every event so far, and I plan to create a small concert group. The group will consist of three violins, three violas, and a cello. Besides keeping up with the usual tradition of excellence, we are going to set our own. This group will work hard to perfect whatever piece we play, and the dedication to it will be even unparalleled to the Big Red Music Machine. We’ll call ourselves More, because that is what we’re going to do.

As the entire orchestra, I want every piece we play to be better than the last. I want us to play every note perfectly in tune. I want us to learn more and do more. I do not like to settle for mediocre, and I am determined to always do my best, and project the tradition of excellence to everybody I meet, and in everything I do. I plan to continue this tradition, and to take the lessons and passion I’ve learned from orchestra, and apply them to my studies.