Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Do You Know How to Double Entendre?
There's gonna be a lot of 'em coming up in the next blog posts.
You might understand where they are
but do you understand what they mean?
Or maybe there won't be any.
And you'll just be sitting there, thinking, wondering, and being like:
How do I even spell Darlene?
And I'll be sitting here, chuckling to myself, because I am a master of double entendres.
You might understand where they are
but do you understand what they mean?
Or maybe there won't be any.
And you'll just be sitting there, thinking, wondering, and being like:
How do I even spell Darlene?
And I'll be sitting here, chuckling to myself, because I am a master of double entendres.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
I Don't Know
...if was ready to give up on him.
I miss him so bad.
What is wrong with me, and what is going through my head?
I can't stop crying. Everything, everything reminds me of him.
I love you so much, Ryan. I'm so sorry.
I miss him so bad.
What is wrong with me, and what is going through my head?
I can't stop crying. Everything, everything reminds me of him.
I love you so much, Ryan. I'm so sorry.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
New URL
Changed my site's URL. I want to post freely again. There will be no more links to Tumblr or Facebook to my blog.
It's time to start anew, my blogging friend!
It's time to start anew, my blogging friend!
Monday, October 31, 2011
LTEL 170C - Essay # 2 Verse and Prose
Darlene McCoy
Michael Ursell
LTEL 170C - Shakespeare
25 October 2011
Verse and Prose - the Effects that Affect
In the great tragedy Romeo and Juliet, Mercutio, a well-born man of Verona, alternates between speaking verse and prose. Shakespeare's choice to use verse or prose on Mercutio's behalf produces an effect. Yet, there is not one "catch all" effect associated with his use of verse, nor one with his use of prose. There are multiple effects that arise by his employment of one or the other. An analysis of a passage of verse and a passage of prose, both spoken by Mercutio, illustrate the number of effects verse and prose can create in the text.
Mercutio speaks the first passage in Act II, Scene 1, Lines 6-21. He calls after Romeo after he abandons the other Montagues in order to speak with Juliet again. He attempts to "conjure" him, as if Romeo were not himself, with images of a fair maid in which he was in love with just a few hours earlier. When Romeo does not answer to his name, the Montagues return home without him. This passage is written in verse.
Benvolio sparks the second passage. He urges Mercutio to retire in worry that they may come upon a conflict with the rival house of Capulet. Mercutio responds haughtily, telling Benvolio that he has no right to defer him from quarreling, because he has so often started pointless quarrels himself. Passage two is written in prose (3.1.15-29).
It is important to note that in each passage, Mercutio is in conversation with a different person. While Mercutio associates himself with both Romeo and Benvolio often, his relationship with either differs from the other, especially in the passages under observation. Mercutio finds Romeo in the world to be his dear friend, and while Benvolio is close with Mercutio as well, he is not as dear as Romeo. To look further into the difference of their relationships, the context in which Mercutio speaks to either needs to be assessed. Mercutio's call after Romeo is a formal plea for his friend to return to the identity that he knows him by. In the specific context of the passage, Romeo is not Romeo; Romeo is not Mercutio's dear friend. Mercutio calls after a man whom he does not know, so naturally, he does so in verse. Alternatively, Mercutio and Benvolio stroll about town while having their conversation. Benvolio never falls out of nor questions his identity in Romeo and Juliet. Therefore, Benvolio is Benvolio; and Mercutio addresses him in the language of chums: prose. This slight discrepancy caused by Shakespeare's use of either verse or prose further alludes to a questioning of identity theme of the play. It also builds upon the idea that because Romeo is be-smitten with love, Romeo is not Romeo.
The tone and subject of each of Mercutio's passages warrants a decision to use either verse or prose. The verse passage contains many words associated with love. Mercutio speaks of Venus and Cupid, and alludes to a tale in which a king decides to marry a beggar-maid just because he loves her. The diction of the passage contains words such as fair, love, dove, and sigh. The whole passage is in iambic pentameter, so the lines, when spoken, flow beautifully and take on a natural rhythm. It would be only natural for Mercutio to speak of the sweeter things in life using sweeter language. The prose passage conveys quite the different feeling. Mercutio gives Benvolio example after example of an instance where he started a quarrel for no reason. His subject is crass, rough, and far from the fairness that adorns the verse passage. He uses words such as "cracking," "meat," and "beaten." Those words are more vulgar and common; therefore Mercutio uses prose to speak of them. The use of verse and prose in these two instances pits the subject of love and the subject of quarreling against each other. Shakespeare's language implies that love is fair, while quarreling is vulgar and crass.
The punctuation or lack thereof in each passage creates an effect. In the verse passage, almost every single line is end-stopped, and there are end-stops mid-line as well. These stops slow the progression of the lines; they demand that the speaker take the time to pause at each stop. After Mercutio speaks in verse, Romeo and Juliet confess their undying love for each other. In contrast, substantially fewer punctuation marks dot the prose passage, causing them to become enjambed. The lack of punctuation accelerates the lines to the point where they seem rushed. After Mercutio speaks his prose passage, he and Benvolio find themselves presented with a conflict with the Capulets. Mercutio loses his life in the ensuing brawl. In Romeo and Juliet, the progression of time is an omnipresent theme. The use of verse or prose here foreshadows a later happening of the play, and further enhances the presence of the progression of time.
Verse is language written in a metric rhythm. Because it is written in a certain way, there are effects that can only take place when a passage is written in verse. Mercutio's verse passage is written in iambic pentameter, meaning that each line should contain ten syllables that alternate between stressed and unstressed sounds. In lines eight through fifteen, Mercuio's lines do not follow the usual order of iambic pentameter. There are indeed ten syllables in each line, but the stressed and unstressed sounds do not alternate as they would normally. Lines eight through fifteen are an example of irregular iambic pentameter. The context of lines eight through fifteen are now quite intriguing: Mercutio speaks of Romeo's irregular identity. The irregular iambic pentameter further emphasizes the point Mercutio makes, because the metric language used follows the same theme as the context of the words themselves. Prose simply cannot do the same as verse in this case; for prose does not follow any specific pattern, so it cannot be irregular.
On the other hand, there are effects of the use of prose that verse cannot accomplish. Verse is regulated speech, while prose allows for a more rapid and less stiff flow of thought. In Mercutio's prose passage, he uses a form of the word quarrel seven times. His passage is only fifteen an a half lines long. He uses the word "quarrel" in almost every other line that he speaks. The constant repetition of a word is not an uncommon occurrence in Romeo and Juliet, and the repetition of a word generally foreshadows its own meaning. This case follows the norm of the play, because just as soon as Mercutio finishes his reply to Benvolio, the Capulets appear and begin a quarrel. It is almost as if because he spoke so quickly and so unregulated that Mercutio invoked a quarrel by repeating the word constantly. While it is possible for verse to repeat a word, it is most uncommon, and generally remains a characteristic of prose. Prose takes the upper hand over verse in this case due to its ability to be more malleable than verse. An author can do whatever he pleases with prose, and it will forever be prose. Verse is only verse if it is written in a metric rhythm. Therefore, an author can repeat a word more naturally if he writes in prose, and the more natural feel of the words convey emotions that seem more genuine. The rigidity of verse makes verse passages seem too over-thought at times, which can take away from the emotion the passage may be attempting to conduct.
Shakespeare's use of verse and prose in Romeo and Juliet produces no single effect. On the other hand, his use of either works with the context of the passages to produce multiple meanings, and to promote themes or ideas of the text. There are some effects that prose can produce that verse cannot, and some effects that verse can produce that prose cannot, but Shakespeare's use of both in contrasting passages allows him to compare the ideas present in them without blatantly stating so. By examining these passages in this fashion, it only seems sensible to conclude that Shakespeare chose to use either verse or prose for a specific reason, and that the reason varies from passage to passage, from character to character, or from event to event.
Michael Ursell
LTEL 170C - Shakespeare
25 October 2011
Verse and Prose - the Effects that Affect
In the great tragedy Romeo and Juliet, Mercutio, a well-born man of Verona, alternates between speaking verse and prose. Shakespeare's choice to use verse or prose on Mercutio's behalf produces an effect. Yet, there is not one "catch all" effect associated with his use of verse, nor one with his use of prose. There are multiple effects that arise by his employment of one or the other. An analysis of a passage of verse and a passage of prose, both spoken by Mercutio, illustrate the number of effects verse and prose can create in the text.
Mercutio speaks the first passage in Act II, Scene 1, Lines 6-21. He calls after Romeo after he abandons the other Montagues in order to speak with Juliet again. He attempts to "conjure" him, as if Romeo were not himself, with images of a fair maid in which he was in love with just a few hours earlier. When Romeo does not answer to his name, the Montagues return home without him. This passage is written in verse.
Benvolio sparks the second passage. He urges Mercutio to retire in worry that they may come upon a conflict with the rival house of Capulet. Mercutio responds haughtily, telling Benvolio that he has no right to defer him from quarreling, because he has so often started pointless quarrels himself. Passage two is written in prose (3.1.15-29).
It is important to note that in each passage, Mercutio is in conversation with a different person. While Mercutio associates himself with both Romeo and Benvolio often, his relationship with either differs from the other, especially in the passages under observation. Mercutio finds Romeo in the world to be his dear friend, and while Benvolio is close with Mercutio as well, he is not as dear as Romeo. To look further into the difference of their relationships, the context in which Mercutio speaks to either needs to be assessed. Mercutio's call after Romeo is a formal plea for his friend to return to the identity that he knows him by. In the specific context of the passage, Romeo is not Romeo; Romeo is not Mercutio's dear friend. Mercutio calls after a man whom he does not know, so naturally, he does so in verse. Alternatively, Mercutio and Benvolio stroll about town while having their conversation. Benvolio never falls out of nor questions his identity in Romeo and Juliet. Therefore, Benvolio is Benvolio; and Mercutio addresses him in the language of chums: prose. This slight discrepancy caused by Shakespeare's use of either verse or prose further alludes to a questioning of identity theme of the play. It also builds upon the idea that because Romeo is be-smitten with love, Romeo is not Romeo.
The tone and subject of each of Mercutio's passages warrants a decision to use either verse or prose. The verse passage contains many words associated with love. Mercutio speaks of Venus and Cupid, and alludes to a tale in which a king decides to marry a beggar-maid just because he loves her. The diction of the passage contains words such as fair, love, dove, and sigh. The whole passage is in iambic pentameter, so the lines, when spoken, flow beautifully and take on a natural rhythm. It would be only natural for Mercutio to speak of the sweeter things in life using sweeter language. The prose passage conveys quite the different feeling. Mercutio gives Benvolio example after example of an instance where he started a quarrel for no reason. His subject is crass, rough, and far from the fairness that adorns the verse passage. He uses words such as "cracking," "meat," and "beaten." Those words are more vulgar and common; therefore Mercutio uses prose to speak of them. The use of verse and prose in these two instances pits the subject of love and the subject of quarreling against each other. Shakespeare's language implies that love is fair, while quarreling is vulgar and crass.
The punctuation or lack thereof in each passage creates an effect. In the verse passage, almost every single line is end-stopped, and there are end-stops mid-line as well. These stops slow the progression of the lines; they demand that the speaker take the time to pause at each stop. After Mercutio speaks in verse, Romeo and Juliet confess their undying love for each other. In contrast, substantially fewer punctuation marks dot the prose passage, causing them to become enjambed. The lack of punctuation accelerates the lines to the point where they seem rushed. After Mercutio speaks his prose passage, he and Benvolio find themselves presented with a conflict with the Capulets. Mercutio loses his life in the ensuing brawl. In Romeo and Juliet, the progression of time is an omnipresent theme. The use of verse or prose here foreshadows a later happening of the play, and further enhances the presence of the progression of time.
Verse is language written in a metric rhythm. Because it is written in a certain way, there are effects that can only take place when a passage is written in verse. Mercutio's verse passage is written in iambic pentameter, meaning that each line should contain ten syllables that alternate between stressed and unstressed sounds. In lines eight through fifteen, Mercuio's lines do not follow the usual order of iambic pentameter. There are indeed ten syllables in each line, but the stressed and unstressed sounds do not alternate as they would normally. Lines eight through fifteen are an example of irregular iambic pentameter. The context of lines eight through fifteen are now quite intriguing: Mercutio speaks of Romeo's irregular identity. The irregular iambic pentameter further emphasizes the point Mercutio makes, because the metric language used follows the same theme as the context of the words themselves. Prose simply cannot do the same as verse in this case; for prose does not follow any specific pattern, so it cannot be irregular.
On the other hand, there are effects of the use of prose that verse cannot accomplish. Verse is regulated speech, while prose allows for a more rapid and less stiff flow of thought. In Mercutio's prose passage, he uses a form of the word quarrel seven times. His passage is only fifteen an a half lines long. He uses the word "quarrel" in almost every other line that he speaks. The constant repetition of a word is not an uncommon occurrence in Romeo and Juliet, and the repetition of a word generally foreshadows its own meaning. This case follows the norm of the play, because just as soon as Mercutio finishes his reply to Benvolio, the Capulets appear and begin a quarrel. It is almost as if because he spoke so quickly and so unregulated that Mercutio invoked a quarrel by repeating the word constantly. While it is possible for verse to repeat a word, it is most uncommon, and generally remains a characteristic of prose. Prose takes the upper hand over verse in this case due to its ability to be more malleable than verse. An author can do whatever he pleases with prose, and it will forever be prose. Verse is only verse if it is written in a metric rhythm. Therefore, an author can repeat a word more naturally if he writes in prose, and the more natural feel of the words convey emotions that seem more genuine. The rigidity of verse makes verse passages seem too over-thought at times, which can take away from the emotion the passage may be attempting to conduct.
Shakespeare's use of verse and prose in Romeo and Juliet produces no single effect. On the other hand, his use of either works with the context of the passages to produce multiple meanings, and to promote themes or ideas of the text. There are some effects that prose can produce that verse cannot, and some effects that verse can produce that prose cannot, but Shakespeare's use of both in contrasting passages allows him to compare the ideas present in them without blatantly stating so. By examining these passages in this fashion, it only seems sensible to conclude that Shakespeare chose to use either verse or prose for a specific reason, and that the reason varies from passage to passage, from character to character, or from event to event.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
LTEL 170C - Essay #1 Double Entendres
Darlene McCoy
Michael Ursell
LTEL 170C - Shakespeare
9 October 2011
A first interpretation developed by Shakespeare's choice of words constructs the idea that "spirit" may be synonymous with "wit" - meaning one's ability to write poetry. The words "verse" and "write" further edge on the reader to interpret the line in this way, for they are associated with the act of writing. Line 5, "Was it his spirit, by spirits taught to write" invokes the image of the Muse, a spirit, as a bestower of wit. Furthermore, the phrase "above a mortal pitch" implies that the wit is above that of human capacity, moreso divine, and thus only available because the Muse bequeathed it upon a mortal. Referring to the spirit, the lines continue, "No, neither he, nor his compeers by night / Giving him aid, my verse astonished." The Muse visits her mortal during the night, and this association only bolsters the idea that "spirit" is synonymous with "wit." If the reader of Sonnet 86 interprets the word "spirit" in this way, the poem depicts a man who is so sure of his love for a beloved that the power the Muse may bestow upon his rivals does not alarm him in the least.
A second interpretation of the word "spirit" in Sonnet 86 may elicit a darker reading of the poem. A "spirit" is a supernatural being or personality frequently conceived as troublesome, terrifying, or hostile to mankind. The word "tomb" provides for the morbid atmosphere of this reading. The phrase "above a mortal pitch" implies that one is no longer mortal, which could possibly mean that they are a spirit returning from the dead. The emergence of the word "dead" at the end of the line aids in the creation of the idea of a spirit returning from the dead. The word "ghost" found in line nine further implies that an apparition of some sort visits the speaker's rival poets. Why an apparition, though? What's so wrong with rival poets praising the beloved? It is possible that Shakespeare is trying to imply that the "intelligence" gulled to his rivals is an intelligence born of something foul, such as lust. If the reader finds himself reading Sonnet 86 through this interpretation, he finds himself reading a poem about a man whose words shatter under the power of lust, for his beloved looks upon those lustful words more than his own.
A third interpretation of the word "spirit" extracts yet another reading from Sonnet 86. This reading, a bit indelicate, takes on a sexual meaning. The first word to cue a reader in on this reading is "womb," - an important participant in sexual reproduction. "Spirit," in this reading, may mean the ability of one to perform sexual acts. The "spirits" in this reading may be the rival poets that the beloved has learned his "spirit" from. The word "familiar" found in line nine hints that the relationship between the beloved and his visitor(s) may be intimate, thus implying sexual. Line ten, "Which nightly gulls him with intelligence," suggests more innuendo. The word "gull" means to to devour voraciously, and the fact that the visitor is gulling him with intelligence might imply that the visitor is giving him intelligence in the form of sexual performance by indulging in his own desires. If the reader finds himself dabbling in the indelicacies of this interpretation, he reads a poem about a man who fears not what his rivals can do for his beloved sexually, but who is distraught when his beloved goes to them for sexual favors.
These three interpretations of Sonnet 86 are examples of the many different ways a poem can be read, and what a double entendre can do for the overall meaning of a poem. They are also examples of the great care Shakespeare took in choosing his words, and of his everlasting wit. May his spirit live forever in each man that reads his lines!
Michael Ursell
LTEL 170C - Shakespeare
9 October 2011
Shakespeare's Spirit
Scholars attribute William Shakespeare's Sonnets as the embodiment of his spirit through the flow of his pen. Double entendres found in the text expand the amount of meanings his verse can produce and enhance the wit of his work. The word "spirit," encountered twelve times as a noun in The Sonnets, connotates more meanings than those derived at first glance. Specifically, in Sonnet 86 "spirit" found on line five, once in the singular, and once in the plural, produces at least three different meanings, which in turn produces three different interpretations.A first interpretation developed by Shakespeare's choice of words constructs the idea that "spirit" may be synonymous with "wit" - meaning one's ability to write poetry. The words "verse" and "write" further edge on the reader to interpret the line in this way, for they are associated with the act of writing. Line 5, "Was it his spirit, by spirits taught to write" invokes the image of the Muse, a spirit, as a bestower of wit. Furthermore, the phrase "above a mortal pitch" implies that the wit is above that of human capacity, moreso divine, and thus only available because the Muse bequeathed it upon a mortal. Referring to the spirit, the lines continue, "No, neither he, nor his compeers by night / Giving him aid, my verse astonished." The Muse visits her mortal during the night, and this association only bolsters the idea that "spirit" is synonymous with "wit." If the reader of Sonnet 86 interprets the word "spirit" in this way, the poem depicts a man who is so sure of his love for a beloved that the power the Muse may bestow upon his rivals does not alarm him in the least.
A second interpretation of the word "spirit" in Sonnet 86 may elicit a darker reading of the poem. A "spirit" is a supernatural being or personality frequently conceived as troublesome, terrifying, or hostile to mankind. The word "tomb" provides for the morbid atmosphere of this reading. The phrase "above a mortal pitch" implies that one is no longer mortal, which could possibly mean that they are a spirit returning from the dead. The emergence of the word "dead" at the end of the line aids in the creation of the idea of a spirit returning from the dead. The word "ghost" found in line nine further implies that an apparition of some sort visits the speaker's rival poets. Why an apparition, though? What's so wrong with rival poets praising the beloved? It is possible that Shakespeare is trying to imply that the "intelligence" gulled to his rivals is an intelligence born of something foul, such as lust. If the reader finds himself reading Sonnet 86 through this interpretation, he finds himself reading a poem about a man whose words shatter under the power of lust, for his beloved looks upon those lustful words more than his own.
A third interpretation of the word "spirit" extracts yet another reading from Sonnet 86. This reading, a bit indelicate, takes on a sexual meaning. The first word to cue a reader in on this reading is "womb," - an important participant in sexual reproduction. "Spirit," in this reading, may mean the ability of one to perform sexual acts. The "spirits" in this reading may be the rival poets that the beloved has learned his "spirit" from. The word "familiar" found in line nine hints that the relationship between the beloved and his visitor(s) may be intimate, thus implying sexual. Line ten, "Which nightly gulls him with intelligence," suggests more innuendo. The word "gull" means to to devour voraciously, and the fact that the visitor is gulling him with intelligence might imply that the visitor is giving him intelligence in the form of sexual performance by indulging in his own desires. If the reader finds himself dabbling in the indelicacies of this interpretation, he reads a poem about a man who fears not what his rivals can do for his beloved sexually, but who is distraught when his beloved goes to them for sexual favors.
These three interpretations of Sonnet 86 are examples of the many different ways a poem can be read, and what a double entendre can do for the overall meaning of a poem. They are also examples of the great care Shakespeare took in choosing his words, and of his everlasting wit. May his spirit live forever in each man that reads his lines!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Everything is Going to Be Okay.
We will be strong, and we will carry on.
Life is not too much for us to handle.
There is time to think.
There is time to reflect.
There is time to make a change.
Do not be afraid. It is possible.
Life is not too much for us to handle.
There is time to think.
There is time to reflect.
There is time to make a change.
Do not be afraid. It is possible.
Monday, October 3, 2011
LTEL 170C - Response #1
Reading Response #1
Ever since winter of last year, I've taken a great interest in Shakespeare's sonnets. I read a piece by Peter Stallybrass, "Editing as Cultural Formation: The Sexing of Shakespeare's Sonnets," and wrote a short little paper on it. As a short summary, this piece explained the history behind the forming of the sonnets in their modern-day form. The what was considered homosexual text was edited time and time again by 18th and 19th century editors to make it seem less homosexual. In fact, these editors were so obsessed with attempting to make Shakespeare look entirely heterosexual that they did not put as much effort in attempting to make him not look like a pedophile. By the time Shakespeare's text had gotten to modern times, it had been edited so many times that according to Stallybrass, it hardly resembled Shakespeare at all.
Then, this week, I was introduced to Segdwick's article on homosocial desire, and it got me to thinking about the sonnets again. After reading Stallybrass' essay, and then the sonnets themselves I was convinced that the first group of sonnets were written to a man - I had no doubts in my mind. Now, since I've read the Segdwick article - I'm not saying I have changed my mind entirely - but it seems that it is a possibility that Shakespeare was writing to nobody in particular through all of the sonnets. I believe that in the historical context of Shakespeare's time, it was possible that Shakespeare was writing sonnets to show off to his male companions. I also believe that he might not have been writing to anyone in particular because the sonnets form a very interesting type of narrative. It starts with a man in love with a Fair Youth, then moves to a betrayal by the Fair Youth, the eventually degradation of the man and Fair Youth's relationship, the depression that follows afterward, and the sad, sexual desire filled by the Dark Lady. To be fair - it's quite the interesting narrative, almost theatrical, and at least for me, provided a deal of entertainment. I also believe that it is a possibility that Shakespeare was showing off to his friends because of the sonnets that are mostly about how poems can immortalize a Fair Youth, and how the written word can challenge death. Those are both ideas that to me, sound magnificent and intelligent, and if I had come up with those ideas, I'd want to show them off to my friends, too.
It's sort of sad that we will never know of Shakespeare's true intentions, but then again, I don't believe that any author's true intentions in writing any work are discernible.
Ever since winter of last year, I've taken a great interest in Shakespeare's sonnets. I read a piece by Peter Stallybrass, "Editing as Cultural Formation: The Sexing of Shakespeare's Sonnets," and wrote a short little paper on it. As a short summary, this piece explained the history behind the forming of the sonnets in their modern-day form. The what was considered homosexual text was edited time and time again by 18th and 19th century editors to make it seem less homosexual. In fact, these editors were so obsessed with attempting to make Shakespeare look entirely heterosexual that they did not put as much effort in attempting to make him not look like a pedophile. By the time Shakespeare's text had gotten to modern times, it had been edited so many times that according to Stallybrass, it hardly resembled Shakespeare at all.
Then, this week, I was introduced to Segdwick's article on homosocial desire, and it got me to thinking about the sonnets again. After reading Stallybrass' essay, and then the sonnets themselves I was convinced that the first group of sonnets were written to a man - I had no doubts in my mind. Now, since I've read the Segdwick article - I'm not saying I have changed my mind entirely - but it seems that it is a possibility that Shakespeare was writing to nobody in particular through all of the sonnets. I believe that in the historical context of Shakespeare's time, it was possible that Shakespeare was writing sonnets to show off to his male companions. I also believe that he might not have been writing to anyone in particular because the sonnets form a very interesting type of narrative. It starts with a man in love with a Fair Youth, then moves to a betrayal by the Fair Youth, the eventually degradation of the man and Fair Youth's relationship, the depression that follows afterward, and the sad, sexual desire filled by the Dark Lady. To be fair - it's quite the interesting narrative, almost theatrical, and at least for me, provided a deal of entertainment. I also believe that it is a possibility that Shakespeare was showing off to his friends because of the sonnets that are mostly about how poems can immortalize a Fair Youth, and how the written word can challenge death. Those are both ideas that to me, sound magnificent and intelligent, and if I had come up with those ideas, I'd want to show them off to my friends, too.
It's sort of sad that we will never know of Shakespeare's true intentions, but then again, I don't believe that any author's true intentions in writing any work are discernible.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
So, It's Been a While.
I've more or less dropped out of the blogging scene as of late, and there's only one reason I can give for my absence: I'm happy.
Yes, this is probably going to end up being a sappy post about how much I love Ryan.
If you're not down with that, you might as well stop following my blog now, because there's gonna be a lot about Ryan in the next... however long we're together or so. All I gotta say is, in life, food, school, and my boyfriend are pretty much the most important things to me. My family too, y'know, but I'm not as close to my family as most of the other people I know. Shit I forgot to mention my friends -- man I'm a bad person sometimes, but hell, half the time I consider ya'll family anyway... meh... gonna stop talking about crap that doesn't need to be said...
Well, anyway... I just wanted to stop in a post a little something. See, I've got this issue where I need to blog at least once a month, because I want my archive to make sense. When I first started blogging, there were a few months were there were no posts for that month, and now I am upset with that because I like my archive to look pretty. Blogging and how my blog looks is srs buisness.
I sort of feel some reflection upon my life might be good, anyway. I guess I just got tired of it, or because I'm not lonely anymore, I didn't feel the need to talk to the world about the normal nonsense of my life. Actually, being with Ryan makes me want to keep it more private, because he's more private. Also, keeping it more private than I usually am about relationships makes me treasure the little things we do together so much more... and man, let me tell you, we are fucking cute, and we are a couple that is gonna last for quite some time.
Gonna put a random sidenote in here: if anyone thought that I was a rebound for Ryan, you are dead fucking wrong. Yes, we did get together right after Brytnny -- that doesn't mean he's using me, and that doesn't mean a fantastic relationship can't bloom out of an utter failure of one.
Hrm. I also wanna say that I really hope nobody has doubted my ability to be in a relationship. My relationship with Tanner was a disaster, and mine don't usually go like that. Furthermore, until the end of last year, my time with random boys was also quite horrid. Shit, Ryan figured out he cared about me the way he does now because I was so damned upset all the time because of other... boys. Stupid boys. Hah.
It's still a little awkward running into them. I hope they're doing well, though, and no hard feelings. For realsies.
I also wanna talk about Jocab Victario a little bit. He's been really, really good, and a lot less clingy than I thought he was gonna be. He's in the transfer building, making friends, doing his own thing. I'm really happy for him, but his recent happiness makes me worry that he's gonna ditch me for better people. And if he does, well, I kinda deserve it, but whatever. I'm just really glad his life doesn't suck anymore, and that UCSC worked a little magic in his favor.
I did a lot of thinking over the summer about friends. I'm just gonna leave that at that. Not really negative thinking, as that statement implies, but I am a little upset about one little incident over the summer that in all reality, did not concern me in the least.
Meh, I'ma talk about what made me upset over the summer...
Cory's birthday.
How could you guys ditch her? Like, seriously? I understand that Bouset had to go home, but you guys didn't want to come back to celebrate ever for a little with Cory? You didn't even have birthday cake... I'm sorry, guys, but ditching Cory on her birthday after she moved the date of her party so you guys could come down was kinda on the fucked up end. Well, it's mostly fucked up because the same night ya'll went to someone else's house and had a party.
Not to mention Tanner & Brytnny. WHOA. That was interesting.
Ah hell man, I guess this reflection stuff is pretty sweet. I guess. I kinda need to do more reading for Shakespeare, though. Stupid damned Lit classes with all their readings! HAH
I really hope nobody has taken offense to anything I've posted tonight. I'm not calling anyone a bad person/friend or anything, just stating some opinions.
And, uh, before I go, I want to note that this actually didn't turn into a OMG I LOVE RYAN SO MUCH post. Though I totally love him so much :)
Yes, this is probably going to end up being a sappy post about how much I love Ryan.
If you're not down with that, you might as well stop following my blog now, because there's gonna be a lot about Ryan in the next... however long we're together or so. All I gotta say is, in life, food, school, and my boyfriend are pretty much the most important things to me. My family too, y'know, but I'm not as close to my family as most of the other people I know. Shit I forgot to mention my friends -- man I'm a bad person sometimes, but hell, half the time I consider ya'll family anyway... meh... gonna stop talking about crap that doesn't need to be said...
Well, anyway... I just wanted to stop in a post a little something. See, I've got this issue where I need to blog at least once a month, because I want my archive to make sense. When I first started blogging, there were a few months were there were no posts for that month, and now I am upset with that because I like my archive to look pretty. Blogging and how my blog looks is srs buisness.
I sort of feel some reflection upon my life might be good, anyway. I guess I just got tired of it, or because I'm not lonely anymore, I didn't feel the need to talk to the world about the normal nonsense of my life. Actually, being with Ryan makes me want to keep it more private, because he's more private. Also, keeping it more private than I usually am about relationships makes me treasure the little things we do together so much more... and man, let me tell you, we are fucking cute, and we are a couple that is gonna last for quite some time.
Gonna put a random sidenote in here: if anyone thought that I was a rebound for Ryan, you are dead fucking wrong. Yes, we did get together right after Brytnny -- that doesn't mean he's using me, and that doesn't mean a fantastic relationship can't bloom out of an utter failure of one.
Hrm. I also wanna say that I really hope nobody has doubted my ability to be in a relationship. My relationship with Tanner was a disaster, and mine don't usually go like that. Furthermore, until the end of last year, my time with random boys was also quite horrid. Shit, Ryan figured out he cared about me the way he does now because I was so damned upset all the time because of other... boys. Stupid boys. Hah.
It's still a little awkward running into them. I hope they're doing well, though, and no hard feelings. For realsies.
I also wanna talk about Jocab Victario a little bit. He's been really, really good, and a lot less clingy than I thought he was gonna be. He's in the transfer building, making friends, doing his own thing. I'm really happy for him, but his recent happiness makes me worry that he's gonna ditch me for better people. And if he does, well, I kinda deserve it, but whatever. I'm just really glad his life doesn't suck anymore, and that UCSC worked a little magic in his favor.
I did a lot of thinking over the summer about friends. I'm just gonna leave that at that. Not really negative thinking, as that statement implies, but I am a little upset about one little incident over the summer that in all reality, did not concern me in the least.
Meh, I'ma talk about what made me upset over the summer...
Cory's birthday.
How could you guys ditch her? Like, seriously? I understand that Bouset had to go home, but you guys didn't want to come back to celebrate ever for a little with Cory? You didn't even have birthday cake... I'm sorry, guys, but ditching Cory on her birthday after she moved the date of her party so you guys could come down was kinda on the fucked up end. Well, it's mostly fucked up because the same night ya'll went to someone else's house and had a party.
Not to mention Tanner & Brytnny. WHOA. That was interesting.
Ah hell man, I guess this reflection stuff is pretty sweet. I guess. I kinda need to do more reading for Shakespeare, though. Stupid damned Lit classes with all their readings! HAH
I really hope nobody has taken offense to anything I've posted tonight. I'm not calling anyone a bad person/friend or anything, just stating some opinions.
And, uh, before I go, I want to note that this actually didn't turn into a OMG I LOVE RYAN SO MUCH post. Though I totally love him so much :)
Thursday, August 11, 2011
The Girlgasm.
OHMYGOD I'M SO EXCITED FOR TONIGHT HOLY BALLS SHITFUCK OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
:D :D :D :D :D :D
SO.
I'm sitting in Ryan's room. His band is here, and they're like, doing band stuff.
I'm just sitting here.
With the biggest smile on my face...
oh my good lorddddd
his voice ehehehehehehehe <3
EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHEHEH
I'M SO EXCITED
also his pants
yep.
good pants.
nyahahahahaha
I HOPE YOU READ THIS LATER RYAN 'CAUSE YOU LOOK FUCKING HOT
...but I've already said that a "few" times today.
I'm just so excited.
:D This is so awesome!
Oi I am going to be so hungry... hahahaha...
This post is entirely pointless... but being written anyway.
I hope I look good. I think I look good.
GODDAMN YOU GUYS SOUND GOOD.
nyahahahahaha! :D
OI I am gonna check Guildwork. 'Cause I want to. I may come back to this.
Man you're so hot.
hahahahahahahaha
:D :D :D :D :D :D
SO.
I'm sitting in Ryan's room. His band is here, and they're like, doing band stuff.
I'm just sitting here.
With the biggest smile on my face...
oh my good lorddddd
his voice ehehehehehehehe <3
EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHEHEH
I'M SO EXCITED
also his pants
yep.
good pants.
nyahahahahaha
I HOPE YOU READ THIS LATER RYAN 'CAUSE YOU LOOK FUCKING HOT
...but I've already said that a "few" times today.
I'm just so excited.
:D This is so awesome!
Oi I am going to be so hungry... hahahaha...
This post is entirely pointless... but being written anyway.
I hope I look good. I think I look good.
GODDAMN YOU GUYS SOUND GOOD.
nyahahahahaha! :D
OI I am gonna check Guildwork. 'Cause I want to. I may come back to this.
Man you're so hot.
hahahahahahahaha
Thursday, July 28, 2011
I Don't Want to Share You.
I'm not going to share you. You're mine. All mine. :)
I was gonna write more but now I'm talking to you.
<3 <3 <3
I was gonna write more but now I'm talking to you.
<3 <3 <3
Sunday, July 10, 2011
There's Always So Much I Want to Say
but somehow, I can't seem to just sit down and blog right now. It's annoying. I like blogging. :(
In other words: I am so happy to be in a relationship again! Everything is fan-fucking-tastic. ♥
In other words: I am so happy to be in a relationship again! Everything is fan-fucking-tastic. ♥
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Upset Again...
This post is in relation to the "K Now I'm Upset" post.
ANYWAY. So just now. Playin' some XI, doin' my thing, chillin'.
People are on Vent (this is a program that you can use to communicate with a group of people, mainly used by people who play MMOs/other online games)
I like Vent. Vent is fun.
Log in, connect, do all that shit.
First damn thing I hear is someone making a comment about how, "You can't say gay in this group. So we say 'hetero.'"
THESE PEOPLE DON'T FUCKING GET IT. IT'S SO ANNOYING.
The reason why I don't want people to use "gay" as an insult is because there's nothing fucking wrong with being gay. There's also nothing wrong with being heterosexual. What kind of backwater asshat state do these people come from? Jesus Christ.
Furthermore, all these people using "hetero" instead of "gay" is just fucking insulting to me. They're making fun of me caring. THEY'RE MAKING FUN OF ME CARING FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S RIGHTS. UGH.
They may not be meaning to hurt me personally, but this is fucked up. Not okay. People's rights aren't a joke. Ugh. ~.~
I don't want to further elaborate on this issue with these people. But I feel like I need to. Jesus, in the least to defend myself. I'm not okay with being made fun of for things I believe in.
This sucks. I love playing 11, but the new Magitek crew is kinda shitty. I miss the old players. A lot.
Bleh.
ANYWAY. So just now. Playin' some XI, doin' my thing, chillin'.
People are on Vent (this is a program that you can use to communicate with a group of people, mainly used by people who play MMOs/other online games)
I like Vent. Vent is fun.
Log in, connect, do all that shit.
First damn thing I hear is someone making a comment about how, "You can't say gay in this group. So we say 'hetero.'"
THESE PEOPLE DON'T FUCKING GET IT. IT'S SO ANNOYING.
The reason why I don't want people to use "gay" as an insult is because there's nothing fucking wrong with being gay. There's also nothing wrong with being heterosexual. What kind of backwater asshat state do these people come from? Jesus Christ.
Furthermore, all these people using "hetero" instead of "gay" is just fucking insulting to me. They're making fun of me caring. THEY'RE MAKING FUN OF ME CARING FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S RIGHTS. UGH.
They may not be meaning to hurt me personally, but this is fucked up. Not okay. People's rights aren't a joke. Ugh. ~.~
I don't want to further elaborate on this issue with these people. But I feel like I need to. Jesus, in the least to defend myself. I'm not okay with being made fun of for things I believe in.
This sucks. I love playing 11, but the new Magitek crew is kinda shitty. I miss the old players. A lot.
Bleh.
Friday, June 24, 2011
K Now I'm Upset
Started playing FFXI again. 'Cause it's fun. I like FFXI.
The linkshell (guild-type thing) that I'm in has a lot of people who use the word gay as an insult.
I asked on our forums nicely and reasonably for people to stop.
Responses are fucking terrible. Ugh. Just tried to do something good, something easy, simple, and good. A small change. People fucking suck, though.
First bad response I got was "You shouldn't have posted this here."
Isn't the right to be a comfortable something to be discussed with everyone? Shouldn't everyone know there is nothing wrong with being gay? Or at least isn't the issue of respect something that should be discussed with everybody?
Jesus lord. This makes me so upset.
Another response I got that was more on the UGH I HATE PEOPLE side was, "I don't really care because I've known gay people who call stuff "hetero" as an insult."
I'd have the same damn problem with them, too. Fuck. This is so annoying to me.
The last response I got, right now, is "Gay is a derogatory term for homosexual people, so it doesn't matter that I use it in a derogatory way."
Since when is gay a derogatory term? Shit, I wasn't aware. If it is, someone let me know, please? Holy fuck.
All I've got to say is I'm fucking pissed. I was being so nice. So reasonable. Just wanted a small change.
Oh well, this is why I'm an ally. Fuck stupid people who can't think of others.
Here's the thread here if you want to check it out yourself.
The linkshell (guild-type thing) that I'm in has a lot of people who use the word gay as an insult.
I asked on our forums nicely and reasonably for people to stop.
Responses are fucking terrible. Ugh. Just tried to do something good, something easy, simple, and good. A small change. People fucking suck, though.
First bad response I got was "You shouldn't have posted this here."
Isn't the right to be a comfortable something to be discussed with everyone? Shouldn't everyone know there is nothing wrong with being gay? Or at least isn't the issue of respect something that should be discussed with everybody?
Jesus lord. This makes me so upset.
Another response I got that was more on the UGH I HATE PEOPLE side was, "I don't really care because I've known gay people who call stuff "hetero" as an insult."
I'd have the same damn problem with them, too. Fuck. This is so annoying to me.
The last response I got, right now, is "Gay is a derogatory term for homosexual people, so it doesn't matter that I use it in a derogatory way."
Since when is gay a derogatory term? Shit, I wasn't aware. If it is, someone let me know, please? Holy fuck.
All I've got to say is I'm fucking pissed. I was being so nice. So reasonable. Just wanted a small change.
Oh well, this is why I'm an ally. Fuck stupid people who can't think of others.
Here's the thread here if you want to check it out yourself.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
It's Just the Small, Simple Things
...that make me so happy. That let me know you care.
It's fucking awesome.
It's fucking awesome.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
Still Thinkin' About You
I want to write more blogs about you. I wish I had written more before all this, too, just so I could see you smile about them! Sunshine. You are my sunshine now. You're so wonderful for me. So wonderful. And I know you're worried. Worried that you might hurt me, but I promise you it'll be okay. I'm tough. And you're a lot less mean than you think, hun. I'm also super prepared to be there for you. I mean, I've always been, as much as possible anyway. But like, now, I really get to be there for you and it makes me so happy. Lean on me just as much as I lean on you. We're in this together now, y'know? This isn't a one-sided relationship. Because it is a relationship. I want to be there when you're upset. I want to be the one you talk to. The one that helps you get through your mind. I want to be the person who you can say anything to. So don't be afraid. Even if what's on your mind might possibly hurt me -- the best thing for us to do is talk. Even if things are upsetting, it'll be okay, we'll work through it. I know you're stubborn, and sometimes I am, too. But I'm not worried. I think it'll be fine. It'll be okay. And that everything is going to work out in the end and this will be wonderful. I mean, c'mon, it already is. I just still, cannot explain how damned excited I am to be with you. You have made me so happy in the last few weeks. There's been something of a hole in my life that needed filling (as cliche as it is) and you really, really, filled that space. And when I think of filling in holes I think of planting flowers... and I think our relationship will produce beautiful blooms. I'm so excited. I'm not scared in the least. I'm not worried in the least. I trust you. I know you trust me, too. So all we have to do is keep working together to make each other happy. I got this. You got this. Let's go. Keep going, keep strong. You're wonderful. Everything is going to be okay. We'll see each other lots this summer, I'll make sure of it. Gosh... I just want to be for you everything you are for me. And I know this is a lot, and a rather intense little post, especially for us only being together for not so long, but like, I'm not going to sit around and pretend I don't care about you as much as I do because of silly little time. I'm sure you already have an idea of how much I care by just how our friendship went -- or you should, anyway! You're one of the few people I would happily (this is a key word) drop anything for. You've always meant so much to me, and man oh man, now I get to be with you. I always want you to know that I'll be there for you, and I'm going to care, and I will not abandon you because you're going through a hard time. I like relationships. And the more work you put into them, the better they become. I'm prepared. I'm crazy about you. This blog. This blog, man. I don't write like this too often, but you inspire me. You inspire me to be better, and to write, and you make me feel beautiful. It's been so long since I've really felt beautiful. I just-- I just cannot fully express how happy I am. You're the best. And you're really freaking cool, too!
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Also: Infected Mushroom is going to be fucking awesome.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Also: Infected Mushroom is going to be fucking awesome.
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